RESTRICTIONS

in my head full of desires,
there swept a ressistance that tied me in wires.

be it the 2hours deadline with friends,
which gave me peace after my chaotic day-end.

or it was the screen time clock? ticking and measuring my fun,
okay its 4 hours today!!! but was i actually done?

asked myself was it normal?
reply echoed yes!!! but i was abnormal

keeping up opinions is arguing?
every good point was edgy and intruding!!!!!!!

perhaps! all my anxiety got regular doses of inhalers,
my veiled conscience was surely endangered!

getting groomed? i was too much fashion influenced!!
deep in i knew it only made my falling confidence fluent.

too fat? but i work out and have a small appetite!!!!
pains to hear that certain clothes would make me look like a hippo at a water site..

poor loner always on phone!
who knew she was actually alone .

why always in your room? they asked ,
i was actually dodging reality behind that suffocating mask !!!

are  they wrong? i asked myself,
at-least i knew i was right even with teary-biceps

"biceps" was a metaphor for "eye"
the solution was to say emotions a "goodbye"

maintaining toxic friendships was good beacuse they are neighbours,
all breakdowns were my mere excuses to put my sadness to labour.

dear parents its always two sides a coin has ,
there are no answers you have .......alas!!!!!

why washing your face at chilly midnight ? mom asked ,
the water metaphorically washed away the pain and anxiety i masked!!

tired of pretentious living i decided to end it,
its only a 12 inch laptop screen my emotions could fit !!!

having written down everything i would go to sleep,
waking up normal but what if my anxiety alarm still beeped??????????????