DISCLAIMER: Errors Ahead And Sorry for Inappropriate Words
----------
Sa aking palagay mayroon talagang mga taong makitid mag-isip, Na akala nila'y nasa tamang panig sila lagi
I will never pursue someone who can't love me. Someone who can't give me the attention I've been searching for.
These past few years...... I don't know but I'm still empty
"Listen to me Aella" I looked away, I just can't met his eyes
Those eyes who made me fall inlove. Mga matang mapupungay na sa tuwing ako'y tititigan paki ramdam ko sobrang safe ko. The man who gaves butterfly on my stomach.
But it was all a lie...
"Stop telling me what to do" —
"Huwag mong iparamdam sa Akin na mahal mo ako kung tatalikuran mo rin naman ako" pilit kong pinipigilan ang pag tulo ng aking mga luha.
"Lahat kayo. Ni Isa sa inyo walang nagtanong kung okay lang ba talaga ako" —
"I've been asking you. But you're pushing me away, Lagi mong sumbat ay okay ka lang, Na wala kang problema" I can see the sincerity in his eyes. Pero pinipilit ko rin sa isip ko na peke Lang iyon, Isang Ilusyon.
"Eh gago ka pala eh" Hindi ko na napigilan ang aking emosyon.
"I'm not okay, and I think I will never be okay."
Tuluyan nang bumuhos ang aking mga luha
"Do you Think it's okay to loose an opportunity because I'm saving our relationship? Gago ka pala, Edi sana nandon parin ako. Edi sana ako parin sa posisyon na yon. Maybe it's part of your plan."
I know napaka demanding ko sa attention at pagmamahal pero kapag sinabi nilang naibi-
bigay Nila ang mga iyon, Ni minsan hindi ko nadama.
Ang tanging nakikita ko sa kanilang mga Mata ay pagka-awa. Na para bang pilit na pilit sila sa mga ginagawa nila para sa akin. Sa bawat pag aksyon nila imbis na kagalakan ang aking maramdaman, Dama ko na kinamumuhian na nila ang pag hingi ko ng atensyon.
"Maling-mali ang paraan mo para kunin ang atensyon namin Aella. Tama ba na pagbabantaan mo kami na magpapakamatay ka sa tuwing hindi mo kami makakasama araw araw?" Natigilan nalang ako sa sinabi niya. Para akong naging bato hindi maka galaw sa kinatatayuan.
"Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon naroon kami, We still have our own lives. Hindi naman pwedeng talikuran namin lahat Para sayo." Hindi ako makapaniwala na sa kanya pa nanggagaling lahat ng mga salitang ito.
"Of all people Cynric ikaw pa Talaga? Ikaw pa Talaga nanumbat sa akin ng mga iyan?" I can't help but to cry..
Hindi ko na yata Kaya, agad agad ko siyang tinalikuran. At patuloy na humagulgol.
"I just want you to se ——" I cut him off
"Oo na Cy, I know you just want me to stop feeling so special. Pero Cynric sana hindi mo rin sa akin pinaramdam na deserve ko naman pala na mahalin. Edi sana hindi ako kailanman umasa.
You know what? You've just ruined my plan." hindi ko na napigilang mapasigaw..
"Sana'y hindi na lamang nagtagpo ang landas natin." I can't see his expression but a meaningless face.
"Yeah..." Omg hah sa dami ng sinabi ko "Yeah" Lang ang tangi niyang nasabi.
"Kung sana'y hinayaan mo ako nung araw na iyon" The day at the beach we're I nearly end my life.
"Let's never meet again. Don't ever make me feel your presence again."Buo na ang desisyon ko.
"It's better for the both of us, and for the people around us."Nakita ko ang pagbabago ng kanyang expresyon akala niya siguro Joke time nanaman.
"If you're going to say that you loved me. Just tell it to my face, Infront of me that it was all a lie, Na kinailangan mo lang na magpanggap for the sake of my sister. Dahil siya ang mahal mo at misyon mo lang ako"
"You're an ass saving me that Day eh ngayon napagtanto ko lang naman na kaya mo ginawa yon is for my sister again" She clearly told me that she was the one who ask cynric to save me that day because they were all scared of me.
"Oh maybe you've really plan this all along so that my sister could get the promotion instead"
For them I was a Monster. A Monster who's not scared to end her life multiple times.
"It wasn't Aella"
"No Cynric. It was all my delusion, Kase naaalala ko na Lahat, lahat." The day before the incident my sister slap all the words to my face That I was all a lie.
"Tell them to leave the paper outside the door and sign my last Word for them"
"Hindi bat gustong gusto na ni mom na makuha yung pera? Let them sign those paper"
I was unloved by all the people around me.
And I'm in ease
I guess that's it. Goodbye....
