Third Time's the Charm

Xiao Zhan's resolve

"You woke up? I'm coming right now."
Shuang said the moment she picked up the phone.

"Wait, where is Jay? And our mothers. I can't reach them."

Shuang hung up, and when Zhan tried to call back, the phone was switch off. Maybe her phone ran out of battery, he thought, his heart beating wildly, a sense of foreboding filled him.

Shuang arrived shortly and she looked very nervous.

"How are you?" Shuang asked

"I am feeling ok I guess, so where are they? Are they alright?"

"Zhan, you need to be brave ok?"

Zhan had a very bad feeling as he watched Shuang take in a feel deep breaths before she spoke again.

"Zhan, you're the only one that survived."

Zhan froze. He couldn't think, he wasn't sure how to feel. It wasn't sinking in. Is this a dream? Zhan's face slowly turned pale and he started heaving.

"Zhan! Zhan!" Shuang shouted, and darkness enveloped him.

Zhan woke up again at night with a crying Shuang on his bedside.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have broken it to you so suddenly." Shuang kept sobbing.

Zhan's heart broke. It was so heart wrenchingly painful and so numb at the same time. It hurt him so bad he curled up like a sharp blade had literally stabbed into his heart. but it felt so unreal as well. Zhan closed his eyes and all he could see were his mothers' and Jay's smiling faces.

Why? Why didn't he go with them. Why did he have to survive? He had nothing now. His world lost colour. His world lost light. He wasn't the only one who survive, because he did not survive. He's dead now. Dead within. His heart and his soul left together with them.

"Why?" He whispered softly as he fell into darkness again.

The next morning, he woke up with Shuang, Qi and Yang by his side.

"Zhan, you're going to be okay, we're here for you." Qi said.

"Zhan, say something, don't shut us out okay?"Yang continued.

"Zhan, please. Zhan, say something" Shuang pleaded anxiously.

Zhan shut his eyes again. The pain was unbearable. It was so bad that he could not even swallow his saliva. He was shaking, but tears could not come. His friends were worried sick for him, and they all had their own lives and children. His pain is his pain, and he should not inflict his pain onto his friends who loved him.

Slowly, he stopped shaking and opened his eyes.

"Im okay, don't worry." He smiled feebly.

"Oh god Zhan, are you sure? Don't try and lie to us." Qi berated with pain in her eyes.

"Im really okay dear. Don't worry."

"Zhan please, you can cry, please let it out."Shuang was now anxious to the core. It is not natural for zhan to be this calm.

"Did they, zhan choked. Was it painful when they left?"

"No, they left quite quickly. They did not struggle for a long time." Yang said calmly, while Qi and Shuang shot him a harsh glare, trying to will Yang to shut up.

Zhan choked back his slight whimper, and nodded at Yang gratefully.

Yang nodded back with a slight smile. Yang dragged the two crying ladies out citing that Zhan needed rest.

Zhan spent his nights weeping painfully as memories of his mothers and Jay ran through his mind over and over again. He would pretend to fall asleep and wake up when his friends visited, sporting his best calm and feeble smile as much as he could.

Zhan at least felt relieved when his friends started to believe he was getting better.

As Zhan discharged 3 days later, he resigned stating that he wanted to concentrate on writing.

Jay had left him a penthouse as a surprise his friends didn't know about. He retreated there unable to bear holding back pain with his friends around.

On the 5th day, Zhan decided he would join Jay. He was soulless and broken. He could never get up again. For the first time in 5 days, he smiled from his heart.

"Jay, I'm coming to find you."

He went to his room, and tried to clean up a bit, then he found Jay's letter. Jay had plan a honeymoon for Zhan and him to Switzerland in a months time.

Zhan didn't know what is at the end of death. He wasn't sure if he was going to meet Jay again. But he knew Jay would be disappointed if his little surprise didn't make him happy.

Zhan decided to go on this trip, as a last commemoration of Jay and his memory. He'd tell Jay all about it when they met again.