Akatsuki Crackshots

1 - True Art

The Akatsuki's hideout was quiet, the low whistling of wind in the background. Everyone was away on assigned missions, except Deidara and Sasori. They knew they were their together, and stayed in their respective places.

Everything was rather calm, until...

"DAMNNIT, DEIDARA!" Sasori shouted into the silence, storming out of his room. He went into the main hall, clicking his tongue in irritation when he didn't find the blonde man. He turned on his heel and made his way to the rooms, kicking open the door with the initial 'D' on a silver plate.

The door hit the wall with a loud 'thud' which woke the sleeping Deidara. His hair was in his face, and let down. It stuck to his shirtless back as he tried to flick it away and rub the sleep from his eyes.

"What's going on, Sasori my man?" he mumbled, not seeing the clearly pissed of man in his doorway.

"What's 'going on' is that one of my puppets is completely destroyed! That was one of my best works you asshole!" he shouted, resisting the urge to go up and punch him square in the face.

Deidara let out a small huff and got up, throwing on a white shirt that was on the armrest of a chair.

"Oh yeah, sorry I was testing out a new type of clay. It's more explosive than my last, hm!" he put his hands on his hips proudly, only irritating the red head more.

Deidara sighed when he got no response, only a cold glare. He ran hands through his hair, then tied some back. While leaving bangs to cover his eye. The silence only made Sasori more upset, so he walked up and grabbed the blondes collar.

"Don't just brush me off! That puppet took forever to make, it was one of my best! Now it's in pieces in a shop. I have every right to poison you and watch you suffer at my feet" the red spat, shoving him back. He forced his anger out to hide his disappointment. That puppet was one he made before fleeing the Hidden Sand.

Deidara caught himself on the wall, sighing. "Art is an explosion, hm. Once you understand this, i'm sure the grief of your puppet will pass easy" he shrugged, brushing past Sasori to the kitchen.

The red head followed after him, clearly pissed off. "Where in your tiny brain do you not comprehend that explosions ruin art, art is meant to be preserved!" he argued, standing at the island in the kitchen. He watched as Deidara poured some water.

"No, dumbass. Art flashes away with a bang! Hm." the blonde shot back, taking a sip of water. He watched as Sasori's face contorted to a look of disgust.

"It shouldn't be "flashing away." Like i said art is meant to be PRESERVED, and don't call me a fucking dumbass" he hissed through his teeth, now sitting down to prevent himself from killing Deidara there and now.

There was no exact rule that members couldn't physically fight, but it was quite taboo. And killing each other was off the table.

Deidara put his water down, his attention now to Sasori and the conversation. "Well if you'd actually understand art maybe i would respect you more! Preserving art makes it old and gross, hm. You wouldn't get it though, those puppets aren't art."

Sasori's eye twitched as he sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That just shows how much you don't respect art! It's supposed to be eternal so generations of people could appreciate it. What's the point of it existing if it'll just disappear?"

It was now Deidara's turn to be irritated. He crossed his arms, leaning against the fridge. "To make more! It's a burst! Art isn't meant to last, it fades away in the moment. That, is true art Sasori my man. Hm."

"True art doesn't fade. You'll understand that once you become less naive, which clearly won't be happening anytime soon. Plus, your art isn't worth looking at, anyway, even when it doesn't disappear." 

Sasori started to become bored with the conversation, he stood up satisfied with his answer and started to walk away. Deidara perked up and started to walk after him.

"How dare you?!" He yelled, opening every door Sasori tried to close on him. "It's an in the moment thing, hm! Damn, if you listened to me maybe you would get it through that plastic skull of yours. You'll never understand true art." he shot back, making Sasori freeze where he stood.

The red turned around and glared. His anger rising quickly. "If your skull wasn't so hollow maybe you'd be more open to understanding the basic concepts of art. You just go ahead and make blobs out of clay without bothering to consider what it truly means. Instead of getting angry that no one is paying attention to your sculptures, try realizing why no one is paying attention to them."

The blonde stood in disbelief as a door closed on his face. He banged on it, trying to open it. Sasori locked him out.

"Open this door, hm!" he shoved his shoulder against the door, trying to get in. "Many people have acknowledged my art! They're just not alive to tell you how amazing it was. Who even cares about your stupid puppets anyway. Art is meant to make a mark on the world, but disappear within seconds. A true artist knows this!" he yelled, the other side of the door silent.

Sasori sighed in his room, rubbing his temples to ease an oncoming headache. 'I don't have time for this...' he groaned mentally, sitting down at his desk. Though Deidara clearly wasn't done with the conversation. The banging continued until he finally had enough.

"I find that first statement very hard to believe, but I'll play along to your farce anyway." he chuckled humorlessly, staring daggers at the door. "My puppets are used for battle, and they are used in many battles, so the marks left by every battle tell a story. Meanwhile, your so-called art only creates a crater, with no traces of an artist ever being there. There's nothing artistic about an explosion."

Finally having enough of the childish treatment, Deidara kicked open the door. Sasori watched with wide eyes as the hinges broke. "Well, you own me MORE now. Good luck explaining this to Pain."

"My explosions are used for battle!What did you do against the fight with the one tail? Sat there. I caught a tailed beast alone while all you did was sit on your ass and complain I was late! Hm." the blonde yelled, starting to loose his cool. He slowly started reaching into his bag, Sasori eyeing his movements carefully.

...

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N:
Word Count: 1136

This book will mostly be one shots of akatsuki shenanigans, nothing serious. However i will start writing more serious books near future!

HUGE thank you to my discord buddy who helped me write this, i love you <33