THE GOLD BAT ***
Produced by Suzanne L. Shell, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
THE GOLD BAT
by P. G. Wodehouse
1904
[Dedication] To THAT PRINCE OF SLACKERS, HERBERT WESTBROOK
CONTENTS
Chapter
I THE FIFTEENTH PLACE
II THE GOLD BAT
III THE MAYOR'S STATUE
IV THE LEAGUE'S WARNING
V MILL RECEIVES VISITORS
VI TREVOR REMAINS FIRM
VII "WITH THE COMPLIMENTS OF THE LEAGUE"
VIII O'HARA ON THE TRACK
IX MAINLY ABOUT FERRETS
X BEING A CHAPTER OF ACCIDENTS
XI THE HOUSE-MATCHES
XII NEWS OF THE GOLD BAT
XIII VICTIM NUMBER THREE
XIV THE WHITE FIGURE
XV A SPRAIN AND A VACANT PLACE
XVI THE RIPTON MATCH
XVII THE WATCHERS IN THE VAULT
XVIII O'HARA EXCELS HIMSELF
XIX THE MAYOR'S VISIT
XX THE FINDING OF THE BAT
XXI THE LEAGUE REVEALED
XXII A DRESS REHEARSAL
XXIII WHAT RENFORD SAW
XXIV CONCLUSION
I
THE FIFTEENTH PLACE
"Outside!"
"Don't be an idiot, man. I bagged it first."
"My dear chap, I've been waiting here a month."
"When you fellows have _quite_ finished rotting about in front of that bath don't let _me_ detain you."
"Anybody seen that sponge?"
"Well, look here"--this in a tone of compromise--"let's toss for it."
"All right. Odd man out."
All of which, being interpreted, meant that the first match of the Easter term had just come to an end, and that those of the team who, being day boys, changed over at the pavilion, instead of performing the operation at leisure and in comfort, as did the members of houses, were discussing the vital question--who was to have first bath?
The Field Sports Committee at Wrykyn--that is, at the school which stood some half-mile outside that town and took its name from it--were not lavish in their expenditure as regarded the changing accommodation in the pavilion. Letters appeared in every second number of the _Wrykinian_, some short, others long, some from members of the school, others from Old Boys, all protesting against the condition of the first, second, and third fifteen dressing-rooms. "Indignant" would inquire acidly, in half a page of small type, if the editor happened to be aware that there was no hair-brush in the second room, and only half a comb. "Disgusted O. W." would remark that when he came down with the Wandering Zephyrs to play against the third fifteen, the water supply had suddenly and mysteriously failed, and the W.Z.'s had been obliged to go home as they were, in a state of primeval grime, and he thought that this was "a very bad thing in a school of over six hundred boys", though what the number of boys had to do with the fact that there was no water he omitted to explain. The editor would express his regret in brackets, and things would go on as before.
