Let's Rev It Up! 10

Venting... I Was Over the Annoucment Word Limit...

I have no idea what to do anymore, I try to act like everything is fine but it's not really fine. My dad is pushing for us to get the house clean so we can sell it while market prices are this high, my mom is always sick with something, and no, I'm not angry at her about it, I'm more worried and scared about that if anything. My car almost overheated today as well, I planned a day off yesterday and instead had to run all over town getting groceries and then taking my mom into an appointment, then today I was gonna do a girls day with a friend, the nail salon "forgot" to put down our appointment down for 10:00am, and our appointment was pushed back to noon, it took us two hours to get our nails done then we didn't even have time to get lunch, just fast food, I only got to eat like two of my fries and two bites of my sandwich before I had to drive her home, then go get my mom and take her to another appointment. Though I had things planned and such, it still got screwed up, I had fun but I was still stressing over everything. Now I have my mom going in for surgery on Monday, and I have to work every single day of the week this week possibly which I didn't even plan at all, I can't seem to catch a break though I did get on my good break day on last Friday. I don't know what to do, though I work my butt off, I can't seem to keep any money in my account because of constant repairs on my car, and I can't seem to make my own family happy with me, they say I'm being helpful with my younger two siblings, but at the same time their always saying I'm not helping them and I'm too focused on my work stuff. I don't know what I'm doing wrong... I can't seem to be happy right now, everyone stressed over everything and at each other's throats, and I'm probably gonna work myself to death before I turn 21. Every time I think I have everything figured out life is just like "nope" and screws it all over again, causing more stress, more anger between me, my parents, and my siblings, and I can't even seem to get the chance to finish my food, it always goes to waste. I just can't seem to have fun or do something I like without someone getting pissed off at me about something or something happening that throws the whole plan out the window. I don't want to do anything tomorrow, I don't want to go to work, I don't want to drive anymore, I'm just thinking about... giving up. Yeah I got a 4.0 in school this year for the first time ever, yeah I got a lot of jobs and also figured out a lot of things that help me, but I never get the chance to really use those things I figured out to help me at all. I'm constantly in pain in some form, I'm constantly stressed over crap, and I can never seem to make my parents proud or happy with me, it always ends in fights and anger. I just don't know what to do anymore... sorry for bothering everyone with my dumb venting... it's just so late at night when I'm having these issues that... I don't have anyone to verbally talk too... half of the people I would talk to... and ask for advice... they graduated this year... moved away... started college... gone in the military... I can't seem to get a hold of them anymore. I just want things to be... normal. Everything is always crazy for me, I never get a break... people are always gonna be pissed at me, and at this rate, I think I should just give up going for what I was... I really just... can't seem to find any other options to make ends meet. All I have anymore is Pain emotionally and physically, anger, and sadness...