My names jasmine and this is my time when it was getting bad. I was already in a bad spot in my life but going on it was getting way worse it still is but when it was getting worse it just felt like I was trapped in this dark hole and I couldn't get out there was no way to it just felt like I just had to sit there and watch my happiness I had left go away really quick it hurts knowing I let it go away everyday that goes by feels like a hard challenge for me to get through but I still try for my cousin no one else not my mom,dad,aunt,uncle and brothers because they all just seem like they wouldn't really care at all like if I died today they would be like yay no more things making me mad or disappointed see growing up my life was never horrible but was never ever good you know my mom and dad started doing drugs when I was four I got put into a foster home I got out they started doing drugs again when they finally got off of them life was kinda good not really they still had addictions just not drugs I guess that's good I don't know but the thing was I just was never really happy see me getting older then I was 12 and living with my parents at my dads parents house it was bad there always felt alone never had friends always getting yelled at for no reason but I guess I was the reason it's hard to explain but it's like I just felt not there like a ghost then I moved with my parents to my aunts I was still 12 but my birthday was in like almost a month not that long when it became time for my birthday I didn't have nothing planned neither did my mom or dad they say that my dad didn't have money but they always said that on all of my birthdays but always had money for my two brothers birthday I had a cake but I didn't get to choose everyone ate my cake I had one piece I guess was fine I was trying to cut down on food anyways guess they were just looking out for me even though they didn't notice I was trying not to eat they never noticed what I was going through that I felt everyday I was just a little itty bitty person in my brain controlling myself they didn't notice that everyday I was trying not to end my life they didn't notice that they were just making life harder on me so a mounth pass okay I got caught vaping I know what a bad kid yeah I've heard that before you ain't gotta tell me I know okay they took everything they made me embarrassed infront of everyone my aunt yelled at me I wasn't crying I really didn't care if I got in trouble nothing bothered me I was just sitting there they got mad cause I had no cares in the world if they yelled at me okay then a month goes by my cousin came over she got caught with a vape in her bra my aunt made her embarrassed infront of everyone and my mom and dad went through her stuff and then they got mad cause my aunt told her sorry and they said hoe they make me feel really little then the next day I left my phone on FaceTime in the bathroom my aunt went in there and puked and she grabbed my phone threw it on my bed yelled at me then went in to my mom and dads room yelled at them because of me then they yelled at me then they went outside I came outside forgot to shut the door then the dogs got out my dad got mad yelled at me and just pursued to go get the dogs after saying basically how everything's my fault I just went inside and cried because everything and everyone makes me feel like everything is my fault my problem I'm just a failure.
