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I sat on my bed after turning off the lights. He had sent me a voicemail, so I pressed the play button and laid back. His voice which used to be the source of my happiness reached my ears, tired and raspy but still beautiful and deep.
"Baby...I- I don't know where to begin with, I know I fucked up, and I know you're so mad at me right now, I'm a monster....but I didn't mean to talk to you like that. I'm so upset to see you like this, you used to brighten up my day with your beautiful smile and those pretty big eyes. But now I look at your eyes and it's empty, nothing but coldness. What has happened to my Luna? I just want her back, Is that too much? I-" He hesitated for a few seconds and then spoke again, "I think you've changed, you don't call me baby like you used to. We used to talk to each other every day but now I barely receive anything from you. What's wrong? You should tell me, Luna, don't hide it. You know I fucking love you so much, it's just I can't help but love you, honey. I miss our old days. I know it's been a short time since your mom died but don't you think you're overreacting? My cousin says you're just overreacting, you should...."
I immediately turned off my phone and threw it on the floor. Son of a..... Ugh, this asshole! I've lost my mom and he thinks I'm overreacting? My mom was too young to die. How can he be so heartless like this? Is he even human? I hugged my pillow and cried my eyes out until I fell asleep, like every other night.
Nobody ever understood me except my mother. She was my best friend, someone who supported me and my decisions no matter what. Someone so smart and strong. A woman who I could spend my whole life with. She was an open-minded woman, a fighter, an artist, and a great teacher. She was just perfect in my eyes and I've learned so many things from her. She had a big library with so many books, she could paint and create masterpieces. She spoke in 4 languages and was a God damn great volleyball player.
She knew how to dance like a professional dancer and had a beautiful voice to sing. She knew how to create cute stuff with timbers. She had a freaking healthy lifestyle and she was always active and productive. I can't believe she died from sickness.
She was my bestie, She never failed to make my life better and better every day. She knew I dream of being a dentist, she wanted to drive me to the college for the first time by herself but.....
It's 4 a.m. and I'm writing this while I'm no longer be able to get up and live again. I'm 16. Such a bloody age for me. Everybody is against me. Everybody is blaming me for being sad. Nobody got my back mom....I wish I could die without someone realizing it. I don't want to live anymore.....
*To be continued...
A.N: These notes are for 6 years ago. This is actually my diary which I'm writing here for you, just the summary of my actual paper diary. Now I'm not 16 guys and I'm pretty much over it, so don't worry.
