The Kiss Of Death - A Percy Jackson And The Sea Of Monsters Fanfiction

1 - Percy Gets Fire Bombed by Teenage, Canadian Cannibals During His P.E Class

Alright, suckers? Welcome back to the train wreck that's supposed to be my sorry excuse for a life!

I bet you're wondering how I spent the school year.

I started at Yancy Academy alongside, Raven daughter of Tartarus, Killian son of Saturn (Kronos), Luthien daughter of Terra (Gaia), Esme daughter of Hecate, Toby and Spencer – twin sons of Uranus, James son of Crius, Thalassa daughter of Oceanus and Draven son of Nyx. I terrorised Nancy Bobofit and made her wish she'd never been born, shooting thing like 'Percy Jackson says go fuck yourself, Percy says hi or Percy Jackson wants you dead' whenever I had a spare moment. By the end of the year, she was petrified of me.

I spent the Winter holidays at Camp Jupiter with Killian and Luthien, sparring with my friend Jason son of Jupiter.

I spent a few days of the Easter holidays at Camp Jupiter, but stayed the rest in the Underworld with Esme. Persephone taught us how to make Pomegranate jam and Hecate taught us how to make Cyanide poison and Almond biscuits. On a completely unrelated note – almond masks the taste of Cyanide.

On the last day, Raven – still going through a descendant phase – convinced us to do a Ways to be Wicked and have some fun.

And that was why we stood over a fuming cauldron filled with apples, praying that Esme was good at magic and wasn't about to poison the whole school.

The song blared through the school's speakers; Spencer had just finished spray painting some lockers. I ran into the hall and dunked a bucket of apples onto the ground towards the students. They all raced for some.

Spencer closed the lockers, which had spray painted 'LONG LIVE EVIL!' in purpled and green on them, he leaned against the locker's smirking. He gave an apple to Nancy Bobofit, who grinned evilly as she ate it and ran off. I jumped up, throwing the bucket to the ground, kicking the lockers and wrapping my arm around Spencer's shoulder who did the same to me, we made our way through the school.

We spent those few minutes, trashing classrooms, picking fights and forcing others to eat the apples. Spencer spray painted a statue of a white nationalist in the courtyard. Turning his features grotesque and beast like, with various colours.

Student were going crazy; the apples were working. We used our powers to cause disturbance and overall, it was lots of fun.

"Let's get out of here," James reasoned, "Before they snap out of it."

Laughing, we left the school, roaming the streets of New York – tagging various buildings, smoking a few cigarettes, stealing some stuff and scaring people for fun.

It was the most fun I'd had in a full year.

We were thinking about getting back home when I heard the sound of an explosion.

Right, from Merriweather College. Percy's school.

Looks like he couldn't keep himself out of trouble.

I bid goodbye to my friends and made my way into the school, it wasn't hard. There was a huge hole in the wall of the sports hall and a Cyclops rubbing his head, dazed.

Percy stood in sky blue shots and a tie die t-shirt in front of two Laistrygonians each holding flaming metal dodgeballs.

I tore the bow and arrow charm off the chain on my jeans and loaded an arrow aiming straight for the Cannibal. With a wet thunk, it landed in his throat and he exploded in a column of green flames.

"Wothcer, Barnacle Boy," I smirked.

Suddenly the other giant's body went rigid. His expression changed from gloating to surprise. Right where his belly button should've been, his T-shirt ripped open and he grew something like a horn – no, not a horn – the glowing tip of a blade. The ball dropped out of his hand. The monster stared down at the knife that had just run him through from behind. He muttered, "Ow," and burst into a cloud of green flame.

Standing in the smoke was my friend Annabeth. Her face was grimy and scratched. She had a ragged backpack slung over her shoulder, her baseball cap tucked in her pocket, a bronze knife in her hand, and a wild look in her storm-grey eyes, like she'd just been chased a thousand miles by ghosts.

Some doofus had been standing there dumbfounded the whole time, finally came to his senses. He blinked at Annabeth, dimly recognising her.

"That's the girl ... That's the girl-"

Annabeth punched him in the nose and knocked him flat. "And you," she told him, "Lay off my friend."

The gym was in flames. Kids were still running around screaming. I heard sirens wailing and a garbled voice over the intercom. Through the glass windows of the exit doors, I could see the headmaster, Mr. Bonsai I think, wrestling with the lock, a crowd of teachers piling up behind him.

"Annabeth ..." Percy stammered. "How did you ... how long have you ..."

"Pretty much all morning." She sheathed her bronze knife. "I've been trying to find a good time to talk to you, but you were never alone."

"The shadow I saw this morning-that was-" His face went red. "Oh my gods, you were looking in my bedroom window?"

"There's no time to explain!" she snapped, though she looked a little red-faced herself. "I just didn't want to –"

"There!" a woman screamed. The doors burst open and the adults came pouring in.

"Meet me outside," Annabeth told him. "And him." She pointed to the cyclops, who was still sitting dazed against the wall. Annabeth gave him a look of distaste that I didn't quite understand. "You'd better bring him."

"What?"

"No time!" she said. "Hurry!" She put on her Yankees baseball cap, which was a magic gift from her mom, and instantly vanished.

That left Percy and I (me holding a bow and arrow) standing alone in the middle of the burning gymnasium when the headmaster came charging in with half the faculty and a couple of police officers.

"Percy Jackson?" Mr. Bonsai said. "What ... how ..."

Over by the broken wall, the cyclops groaned and stood up from the pile of cinder blocks. "Head hurts."

The bully was coming around, too. He focused on us with a look of terror. "Percy did it, Mr. Bonsai! He set the whole building on fire. The girl helped. Coach Nunley will tell you! He saw it all!"

Coach Nunley had been dutifully reading his magazine, but just my luck – he chose that moment to look up when Sloan said his name.

"Eh? Yeah. Mm-hmm."

The other adults turned toward us. I knew they would never believe us, even if we could tell them the truth. Percy grabbed Riptide out of his ruined jeans, told the cyclops, "Come on!" and jumped through the gaping hole in the side of the building.

I turned back to the bully, "Bully anyone again – and I'll find you!" I warned, and I swung my bow, the wood hitting him in the head and he slumped on the ground – unconscious.

Then I jumped out of the building after the others.