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The Mandarins You Buy Are NOT Vegan

Quick thing: IF YOU ARE VEGAN, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER if you like mandarins. Yes, I am probably (geez who am I kidding, definitely) wrong, but I do not want you to worry about eating mandarins, as i am wrong, ok? 👍 anywaysssssssssss. Also, I did NOT research this, so it might not be completely accurate - this is just an opinion thing :)

Ok, so I know what you're thinking. Mandarins are vegan, right? They don't have any animal products, so they are vegan, obviously. Yes, I do seem kinda stupid for saying 'mandarins are not vegan', but here are my thoughts on it.

Quick backstory on what made me think about this. One of my friends had a mandarin, and called it 'vegan shrimp'. Ok, so I didn't think to comment on the fact that it's not a shrimp, it's a prawn - well, really, it is a mandarin, but anyway. We do not call it shrimp, it is ~prawn~. 🦐 🍤  Anyway, it got me thinking... are mandarins really vegan?

Let's start with the simplest definition of 'vegan' I could find: Vegan means that the products contain no animal ingredients or animal by-products.

Ok, so the mandarin itself technically does not contain any animal products, yes, but think about it. What about the sticker!? A lot of mandarins have a sticker on them, just like with the other fruits. 

'Yeah, so what? They have a sticker' You may be thinking, 'What on earth does the sticker have to do with it?' Everything. 'Stickers are not derived from animals or animal by-products!' Ah, that's where you're wrong! Mwahahahahahahhhahahahaaaa... ok yes. I am weird. See this is exactly why people hate me. Anywayssssss

So I was thinking, you know what? What if... StIcKeRs ArE NoT VeGaN!!! Yes, I'm not stupid, it's not like the sticker is a tiny animal thing like, dude, please. I may be stupid, but I'm not that stupid. 

Ok so first up, most of those PLU stickers on fruit are made from a type of plastic. So, what if they used recycled plastic? Yes, so far that seems vegan. Heaps of plastic always end up in the ocean, and what if an animal eats that plastic? This is a common occurrence. Whether it ends up in the ocean or not, either way there is the likely chance some animal will think it is food and eat it. Now, I'm sure those of you who know anything about biology will know that animals are, obviously, not supposed to consume plastics. Either the animal is unable to get rid of the plastic contaminant, and will die, OR it may be able to cough up or regurgitate the plastic from it's digestive system. If this is the case, and they are able to get rid of the plastic, then what happens to it? 

The plastic will be collected to be recycled. So... this would include being recycled into stickers, right? Specifically mandarin fruit stickers...? So then when that plastic is converted into stickers, part of the saliva and DNA of the animal will still be present, therefore making the sticker not vegan.

Ok... that was just my first point. Sorry this is getting reallllllyyy long!

Point two (last one!). So another thing to consider would be the glue. I mean, what's the point of a sticker if it doesn't, you know... stick?! (Omg I'm hilarious I know 😂 ok ok back to my point lol) Now, a lot of glues are made from casein or glutin (now my fellow gluten-intolerant people may know this, but glutin is different from gluten, just saying). Casein is a type of protein from milk, and glutin is basically like gelatin, which comes from collagen (part of animals). As most glues contain casein or glutin/gelatin, I would assume that the glue on the mandarin sticker would contain it as well, as it would be cheap enough to produce. 

So... just a recap. This would mean that the sticker would not be vegan, as it has plastic that could still be contaminated by animal saliva and DNA, and it has glue that contains casein and/or glutin/gelatin that is derived from animals.

We all in agreement? The sticker can't be vegan, am I right or am I right? 😂 

Anyway, so you might be thinking, 'Yeah ok, so maybe on some scale the sticker may not be completely vegan... but you don't eat the sticker!!' 

Well, about 'not eating the sticker' I mean, come on, surely all of us may or may not have accidentally eaten a fruit sticker right? Not looking at anyone in particular.... *cough* Anastasia *cough* sounds like the sorta thing she would do on purpose *cough*. Sorry guys, had a bit of throat trouble there aheem. 

Ok so lets say you are a normal person (congrats! Lucky you, I have often wondered what it's like), and you do not eat the mandarin sticker. How does the animal contaminants get onto your food you eat? Ignoring the obvious thing of the skin/peel thing (let's say you are very normal and don't eat that either), how does it get onto the inside bit that most normal people consume? So, first you take off the skin/peel (whatevs you wanna call it, 'k?). To do that, you would probably end up touching the sticker, and then when you touch the inside bit (hey, I've had a massive mind-blank and forgot what it's called ok?), you would be transferring the animal and non-vegan contaminants onto the food.

Gosh, that was a lottttt, but you know what? Even if you were soooo perfect that you SoMeHoW managed to just NoT ToUcH ThE StIcKeR at all (I resent you), the airborne particles from those contaminants would settle on the food bit you eat (mind-blank again, idk what it's called), therefore, making it not vegan.

I rest my case.

And now I conclude my statement, by saying, Mandarins. Are. Not. Vegan.

So now you see where I'm coming from when I say that mandarins are not vegan? It works with any other foods/fruit that has a sticker. Wait, yes, when I say foods/fruit it sounds like fruit is not food I realise that now (tbh I don't count fruit as food anyway, ugh. Except pineapple. And mango) but... :)

Ok so a quick shoutout to everyone who told me that mandarins were vegan (ahhahahha jokes on you, I'm going to send this to you to prove you WRONG). Yeah, even the internet was wrong guys. I am disappointed in you, internet. Never gives you what you want, always does the 'did you mean...' or 'showing results for...' like NO I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK I MEANT OK I WROTE IT GEEZ YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN SO HAHA JOKES ON YOU INTERNET YOU CAN'T EVEN THINK HA! And then it even feeds you lies like 'mandarins are vegan'. I choke on your lies, internet. I will die from those lies you feed to innocent people you LIFE WRECKER. Here I was thinking that MANDARINS WERE VEGAN and then I decided to think, yes internet, think. Now there's something you clearly don't do often. And guess what. I was RIGHT! Probs not I'm like really wrong I bet you there's going to be something really obvious I didn't think of but hey, it's almost 2am I bet half the stuff i said earlier doesn't make any sense. 

And, OH MY GOD IT'S UP TO 1,302 WORDS WOW so sorry guys! Honestly I have no idea what I wrote all this for and no one will read it anyway so :)

Also, I wrote this at like, almost 2am so it may not make much sense, but can I be bothered to change it? nope. 

Have a good day y'all! - LynxGirl14