Can i love you ?

31

"Hi, Mom," I said.

"You got up early today," my mother said in surprise.

"I'm surprised myself," I admitted. Then I asked, "What are you doing?

"I wanted to make pancakes. You haven't stopped loving them, have you?"

"How can you stop loving them?" I replied, taking a seat.

"Judging by the recent events, we can expect anything from you," my mother said. I didn't respond.

She was right. I had surprised them, shocked them! I understand how difficult it is to accept, especially for parents, when their only child informs them about their "rainbow" choice. It's not easy, right?

"I'm sorry, Yoohyeon. I might be saying the wrong things," she said, noticing my thoughtfulness.

"No, you're absolutely right. I upset you, and I understand," I replied sincerely, though the words stuck in my throat. I had understood this before, but it's hard to realize that I'm far from being ideal in my parents' eyes. It hurts, but life, alas, is difficult. Now I'm more aware of it than ever.

"Yoohyeon, that's not what I meant to say. We will accept it. I promise. If this is your choice... if she makes you happy, then we will accept it," my mother said, placing a cup of coffee and hot pancakes in front of me, a smile on her lips.

There was no joy in her voice. It hurt. But that wasn't surprising. She had resigned herself, and I couldn't ask her to be happy. It would be selfish of me and hypocritical of her. We understood the situation, smiled at each other, but my morning freedom and joy vanished. After all, my choice wasn't easy. It wasn't just difficult for me, but also for Minji and her parents. It's too challenging in this country. Is our love worth these difficulties, these sacrifices? Is it right? Is it fair to subject not only myself but also those who care about me to torment?

The questions that I thought I had overcome started tormenting me again. Are our feelings so perfect? Do we need each other so much that our loved ones worry and find themselves in difficult positions? I used to judge my mother and feel offended, but I never put myself in her shoes. For her, it's absurd: her daughter loving a grown woman. But I really do love her. And she loves me. I know it. But who said love means being together?

I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm scared that I'll do something I'll regret later on. After all, I made this decision. We made this decision. I know for sure that I can't be without her.

Society shouldn't dictate how we live. Society shouldn't make us suffer. We live in a free world.

The questions that tormented me also tormented Minji. Questions we had already answered for ourselves a long time ago. These questions hit us with renewed vigor when a new factor, "parents," entered the equation of our lives. Our parents have accepted it. That makes me happy. But that's why they're parents, the closest people who only wish for their child's happiness, even when it seems absurd, like a mistake. They will eventually be there. Maybe not immediately, but we can't expect everyone to instantly accept all our strengths and flaws. Society, on the other hand, will never have enough time. Society is ready to crush anyone who spreads their wings to experience freedom. But can love exist without pain? Isn't love capable of overcoming everything? And I believe that our love will overcome all the barriers of society, especially now when we have close people ready to support us.

My Sunday was spent thinking, thinking, and thinking. Was there any point in stirring up the situation when everything seemed to be working out? But I can't stop my thoughts from attacking my mind. The main thing is to win this battle. I couldn't meet Minji today; tomorrow is Monday, which means she has a lot of paperwork.