This too shall pass...

Epilogue

8th March 2020

Dear Dairy,

Hi! Welcome to your owner's heart, well I kinda stopped writing my secret diaries about five or six years ago, so it's been a while... I am starting again because my life is kinda stable now, also I now know not to trust humans so dairy is the best way I can share or vent out my feelings. So here it goes....

I am Nabi, from Beland [bea-land] but I have been studying in Sacred Heart Girls Boarding School (SHGBH), in Inland for almost 5 years, my sixth year is gonna start soon, actually no it has started. SHGBH  is a place where I have learned to heal myself. I was awkward, an oddball, and had every bad personality in the world, before I went to this school, going to this school was the best turning point of my life. 

If I had not gone to SHGBH, I would have continued to cry alone in the bathroom and harming myself, the reason I used to this is because, I used to think that I am the most useless person born in this world, or that I shouldn't have been born in the first place and the reason why I used to think these are my people I am surrounded by, actually they care for me or they may have grown up like this that is why they tried the same things with me, like comparing with my friends, or complaining about my flaws so that  I challenge myself and correct myself, actually it is all about the perspective, some people take bad comments as challenges and some literally think that they are useless like those comments. My boarding school is the place where I could change my perspective, a place far away from all these "commentators and nosy people" and also a place that stopped me from being a disappointment to my parents and specially my mother who works really for me and my siblings, she says extremely harsh things when she is upset and I was a person who doesn't easily forget the words said by people, and that is why personally I think things were not good with my mom, at least for me.

You may be thinking what is the big deal about being in a boarding school, but it was a big deal for me. At my home, I was a person who could not even ask water from a waiter, a person who almost failed her fifth grade exam and a person who had 0 friends and had tiffin alone at break time,  and lastly a person who had to hear these things every single day: 

"Look at your friends, they are good at playing game, activities and studies, what are you good at?"

"What you want a smart phone because your friend has, your friend also gets good marks, do you?"

"How shameless, how can you be smiling after getting such an average results."

"What have I done to give birth to a useless child like you?"

What do you think can a person survive in a life like this? Wouldn't you feel like that your existence is the cause of all the bad things, it is better that you die. Yup! My perspective was this and I was not much of a challenging person, rather a person who improves when praised. But most people in my family grew up challenging themselves, so they think their children are also like that. Somehow my father, a person who studied in boarding school too, noticed how much I was suffering, one day he asked me if I wanted to go to a boarding school, I thought about it, and I wanted to breath and end this suffocation, so I said yes.

Well, if you want to know how I changed myself, what happened that I started to love myself, well well well, that is a very long story, I guess you've got the summary and may get glimpses sometimes. So that's it for the introduction, btw you know there is this new deadly virus in Chinland, namely Corona Virus or Covid-19, it's spreading widely, everyday we wath the news and see their death rate going up, I hope the virus dies soon, people can live at peace also, hope that something like this does not enter our area both In and Beland. 

Good news, my eleventh grade exams ended yesterday! And it went well better than the exams I took till now, hope I can make my family proud and stop being a nuisance to my younger siblings, I forgot to tell you the most difficult status of my life I'm oldest amongst my siblings so you know how troublesome my life is already. :'D

Okay byeee, write to you tomorrow!

Hey readers, this my second book, I could not follow up with my first because I was busy and my busyness broke the flow of my fiction so... I'll try to finish that. Also let me know if you want to know more about Nabi's past life or the year 2020, also feel free to give me some advice and hope I can meet your expectations. Yeah Yeah I know the epilogue may a bit too long... Byee hope you enjoy. :)