I can't make people stay.
As a child, I had my best friends leave me. It was fine, I thought. I'll get through it, as always. The first time was very difficult. And I guess it was because we never get to say our goodbyes. I felt empty. I went to school thinking we could play, only to realize she'll no longer be able to play with me.
It was difficult, but I coped.
The second one was a tough one. I mean, aren't all these? I didn't realize that what once happened could happen again. We were thirteen and I know we adored each other. Our friendship was too deep that we even know each other's emotions although we never talked about them. We were happy, and then he left me.
Then again, I coped.
At least I thought I did.
Now, I can't make people stay. I keep telling myself that it's okay, that it was for the better. Yet I know I was just fooling myself. It was as if my head is filled with so much people leaving me behind that I refused to make them stay. I thought that maybe this is how my life is supposed to be. I try to fix people, and then they leave me. I once thought as a child that maybe if I loved them too much then they won't leave me, but then again it didn't worked.
I can't make people stay.
I don't think I can make them stay.
Perhaps, one day I would find people who will. But I just wish it could be today.
