Me First

Chapter 1

I used to be soft. I used to care about my partner's needs and wants. I used to put myself last and think about how the happiness of my person will make me happy.

Fuck that.

All that does is lead the other person in the relationship believing that they can disrespect you and stampede all over your heart without repercussions. 

It was a lesson I needed to learn and it is a lesson I will never forget. Be better, do better, look better and make them regret the day they thought they could get away with hurting you. For me, it is the only way.

I was foolish once and thought a man who looked like Luca Ramirez could genuinely love a young woman that looked like 20 year old me, sweet mousy little innocent Melanie Cabello from Austin, Texas.

I saw him first day of our elective course and thought to myself, that was one fine specimen. He walked in with his dark stone wash jeans and a clean, crisp white T fitted nicely over his pectorals. His dark chestnut coloured hair was ruffled like he just ran his hands through it, and his eyes? A deep brown that could make you crave the rich chocolaty goodness even from across the room. He walked in with Barbie (no really that's her name) and when we made eye contact he winked making me catch my breath.

In reality, that was red flag numero uno. But of course my panties were on fire so I could not be held accountable for not catching that at first.

Luca Ramirez made his first real move when there was a dorm party. Typically, people find their own residence by second or third year as I did, so this should have been another flag when I found it was his dorm throwing the trashy party.

But, sadly my panties were completely on fire yet again when I was dragged in through the door forcibly with the hand of my then best friend, Ruby, clinging tightly to my arm. Ruby was that necessary friend you needed in college for the makeovers and the outfits she put you in and then mysteriously disappears after that part of your life is over.

As you've probably guessed, she put me in a revealing outfit to get the guys to notice so I could lose my vijay jay card and we could have more to talk about in the boys department. And you know what, that girl was a genius.

When we walked into the room of one Luca Ramirez and Caleb Morgan, a group of guys were playing beer pong in the middle of the room and screaming every time they got one of the balls into the cup. 

Now that I think back to this specific memory all I can think of is, of course a bunch of hormone crazed boys would scream that loud if they or any one of their pals gets a ball into a hole.

But what took my immediate attention was the 6 foot male sitting on the couch with Barbie's tongue inside his ear as he observes the other girls in his kingdom. If I wasn't so strung up on being the girl to take away his attention I am confident I would have realized that was yet another red flag. 

Like in a movie, where the main girl is standing in a pose that makes their legs look a million miles, his eyes dragged up my skinny legs, took in my tiny shorts, exposed midriff and most definitely my nipples that were tightening beneath my white crop top beater. It was the most I had ever exposed to a guy let a lone an entire room of them. I found it thrilling and yet I was calm because there were females in the room who, believe it or not, were even more exposed. My dull ginger locks were done in waves that fell on either side of my breasts and accentuated them as much as they could my B cups. Either way it seemed Luca Ramirez was really into what he was seeing and I could almost see it in his eyes that he decided tonight I would be his.

Later that night when I was just about done trying unsuccessfully to get close to Luca Ramirez I got a cup full of stale beer dropped onto my shirt which spurred him into action. Now that I look back, I firmly believe it was because my nipples were fully on display and he would get away with touching them before knowing my name than it was him trying to be a hero. I somehow ended up sitting on the counter ten minutes later with Luca Ramirez between my legs. He was rubbing my breasts with a corse kitchen cloth and making my nipples super sensitive to the point pressure was building between my legs with every stroke. Oh that handsome devil knew what he was doing. So well, that I wonder if he planned the spill too.

Another ten minutes goes by, he dropped the towel and was pinching me through my shirt with his tongue down my throat. After yet another ten minutes later, we were on his bed with zero clothes on and rubbing each other in the most intimate places. He was such a pro I didn't even have to tell him that my hymen was fully intact. He came to the conclusion all on his own after his tongue was lapping erotically at my nerve bundle and two fingers were firmly planted inside my slick folds. I felt as he stroked my hymen his whispered laugh came out against my lady parts as he questioned, "You're a virgin?" and then proceeded to claim "I'll make this really good for you."

No room left to back out and I think that may have made me even more ready for his length, if the wetness down below the sea had anything to say. A minute later, he was splitting me in two and yet making me crazy by stroking my bundle with the pad of his thumb. His rhythm sped up with my legs above his shoulders and he went to town making me cry out my pleasure before he pulled out quickly and with two jerks of his dick, he came onto my chest.

I laid there filled with so many emotions and questions. Is that it? What do I do now? Why do I still want more, like I was disappointed it ended? What does this make us?

Luca Ramirez padded back into his bedroom and looked at me confused as if I was expected to do something. "Oh you're still here? Listen, we can probably go again at another time but I have practice in the morning. Door is right over there, goodnight." And with a wave like he hadn't just gotten my virginity blood on his manhood, back he went into the bathroom and started running the shower water.

My mouth was hanging open as the implications hit me, hard. I just had a 3 minute pound fest for the first time with Luca Ramirez and he didn't even know my name nor did he care to. With that I snapped my mouth shut before I caught a fly and grabbed the first thing I could reach, which was his pillow case and wiped off his spunk from my chest before tossing it back. I hope his fabulous hair gets tangled by his own cum. My eyes watered and I inhaled sharply through my nose and started to use my brain. 

We are two floors up, and there is a crowd of people still outside that I had zero intention of walking through. 

I stood and quickly shoved my clothes on before opening up the window and jumping down.

Later that week, there were rumours that said I gave Luca Ramirez gonorrhoea, despite me being the one who was never with anyone else. Shortly after, I got cleared by the nurse on campus (had to double check just incase he gave gonorrhoea to me) and made sure never to see his face again by taking the last month of school online and arranging office hours for my exams.

A year later I had bumped into Luca Ramirez at a cafe where he whisked me away with his charm all over again by apologizing for his jealous ex-girlfriend's rumours and his own crassness the night we met. This started us down a path of a two year long relationship that yet again ended in heart break.

Only this time, my heart shrivelled up and died and I made a promise to myself. 

Never again will I allow Luca Ramirez to have any sort of power over me. I will never hide myself away like I did before, I will do right by myself and I will always put myself first.