The Fine Art Of Giving Up

finish line

TW- mentions of suicide.

I'm at the finish line, but I never ran the race. I'm at my breaking point, along with many others at the mere age of 15.
I feel stupid and weak knowing that people are going through much worse than me at a much younger age and yet I'm at the finish line but I never ran the race.
I never got drunk. I never smoked or vaped. I never swam in the lake. I never learnt how to drive. I never threw a party. Yet I'm ready to end it all. I'm at the finish line, but I never ran the race.

Here I am a year later at the age of 16, a failed suicide attempt that my mum is yet to find out about an eating disorder and a few things ticked of my list I'm still at the finish line, but this time I believe I ran the race.  

Side note
I have been working on myself lately although it hasn't been long since I last wrote this I have been able to find something keeping me afloat. I have been lucky enough to find happiness in such a short time. I'm not saying I'm completely happy now because I don't believe anyone in this world is completely happy but I have been doing better than I usually was. Like anyone I have my good and bad days.