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ꜱʟɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴍʏ ꜰɪɴɢᴇʀꜱ.
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ɪꜱᴀʙᴇʟʟᴀ.
"ɪ ᴛʀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀᴘᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ; ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ɪɴ ɪᴛ."
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ.
In which (y/n) thought she had seen the last of Isabella when she left her at the wall. 19 years later, sh...
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(n.) an ache for distant places; missing places you've never been.
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The pastries were perfect as per usual. Each bite of the sugary shortbread and delectable berries was just as I remembered. The same recipe since I've arrived, and still flawless. It was an experiment, but then again, so was I.
As I dug into the pastries, the two demons finished their dinner. The two didn't have a sweet tooth as large as mine, so while I devoured the treats, they settled for more pork. Sonju and Mujika had cooked the hog together, and incorporated it into a vegetable broth.
"How are the tarts?" Mujika asks. I answer the same way I do every year.
"Perfect." She smiles.
"Sonju was telling me about your perfect shot. How many does that make now? 20?" She looks to Sonju for confirmation.
"23 now- consecutive as well." Mujika laughs and praises me.
"We might have to start sending you out to hunt for us." I swallow hard. The soft pastry turned into mush in my mouth and is no longer appetizing. I nod weakly in response, and set down the half-eaten tart.
"I wanted to ask you two." Their heads perk in interest.
"Now that I'm nineteen- well, almost- I wanted to ask if I can maybe...move out?" The room goes dead silent. The two are staring at me. It's disturbingly difficult to read their expressions.
"By human standards, and demon standards as well- I'm pretty sure, most nineteen-year-olds are moved out of the house and living on their own." When did this room get so humid? I rub my sweaty palms on the sides of my pants.
For a few beats, no one says anything. Not until Sonju lets out a deep sigh.
"How long have you been considering this?" He's always the one to break the ice, I'm thankful.
"Since last year. I can cook, hunt, sew, and build exceptionally. I believed I was capable enough to live alone last year, but with how well I've done this year, surely you believe the same?" I've taken on a persuasive tone. Sonju just hums and continues to eat.
"(y/n)." Mujika starts, I could tell she didn't approve of my idea based solely on the tone of her voice.
"You're a beautiful, strong, smart, and talented human, but human nonetheless. In a world of demons, you're vulnerable." Mujika speaks with commiseration. I gawk.
"I can't live under your wing for the rest of my life."
"You could-"
"I DON'T WANT TO." I'm blown away by how blatantly she's dismissing my desire. I expected her to turn down my idea, and suggest I wait before leaving. What she was doing was telling me I'm not able enough to leave their care. She's telling me I'm proficient, but not enough to live on my own?
"Am I really all that you said I am? I'm beautiful, strong, smart, and talented? Or am I all of that by human standards? You don't believe I have any chance against a demon because as a human, I'll always be lesser?"
"You're putting words in my mouth now, please don't." She looks defeated, and I almost feel bad.
"I'm trying to understand how you feel. Which is more than what you're doing for me." I know it's harsh, but it slips out before I can filter it. She gasps sharply and looks at Sonju, expecting him to react. I look at him too; hoping he'll voice support in my direction. He's looking down, away from our quarrel. Pursing her lips, and blinking hard, Mujika makes eye contact with me.
"We will not be discussing this again, and you will not be leaving this house." She stands and makes a sharp turn away from me. She walks away in a hurry. Once she's out of view, I let out a frustrated scream. I lower my head to my lap and grip my roots.
"What the fuck is her problem?" It's almost a scream, but not quite as loud as my last. My tone is rash.
"She's scared, (y/n). Rightfully so."
"That doesn't give her the right to take away my freedom."
"Freedom doesn't exist, first of all- at least, not how you imagine it." This is going to be one of those things he talks about that I don't quite understand, but I listen anyway. Customary consolation has never been his style.
Shifting over to my side, he places a hand on my back and rubs small circles. I'm still hunched over, and I don't realize I'm crying until then. Angry tears have disappeared into my black trousers and left trails on my cheeks. I wipe at them furiously and attempt to focus on Sonju's hand on my back and his smooth voice instead.
"Moral freedom is the ability to choose how to restrict yourself. In absolute freedom of the physical body and mind, chaos ensues. In our religion, Mujika and I are prohibited from eating humans. But are we really being restricted if we chose this religion? We were not forced to do so, but we chose to because we felt it was right." I listen quietly and lean into him.
"I think that there's a peace of mind that comes with the decision to restrict yourself. It's a step to take before reaching self-actualization." My eyes grow heavy, and Sonju reaches across his broad shoulders to remove his cloak. He places it gently over me and rises from the floor. He continues to talk as he cleans up our mess from dinner. I watch.
"What you're struggling with isn't a lack of freedom, it's a misunderstanding of the balance of safety and free will. How far are you willing to go to live alone, and how far do you think Mujika is willing to go to keep you home? Will either of you let it ruin your relationship?" He blows out the fire and leaves the stacked dishes by the ashes of what once was wood.
"She won't want to talk about this for a while, but confrontation is inevitable. Try looking at this from her point of view, and reason with her." Sonju picks me up and starts carrying me in the direction of my bedroom. The warmth of his cloak and the steady beating of his heart lulls me to sleep. Before falling unconscious, I hear him murmur.
"She loves you, (y/n). We both do."
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【Vault】
✘ Mujika is fairly emotional. Her highs are very high, and her lows are very low. She craves silence and physical comfort when she's sad.
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WC: 1059
SORRY LMAOOOOO
I know damn well this is not the chapter y'all wanted, but like, I've gotta neutralize the fluff somehow. Anyways, I feel like I did a pretty shit job at it, but Sonju's consolation reminds me of my dad's, and I tried to convey it here. My dad isn't great with feelings, so whenever I'm sad about something, he'll talk about philosophy or stories from his childhood. I know that big talk came out of the left field, but I'm doing a bit of experimenting. Let me know what y'all think :,)
