ᴬ ʲᵒᵘʳⁿᵃˡ, ᴵ ᵍᵘᵉˢˢ

𝗧𝘂𝗲𝘀𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝘀𝘁 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟬

I don't even know if I'm going to end up showing this to anyone to be honest- why did I word that like there's anyone who's actually interested about snippets into my life? whatever. for context this will be like a diary, I guess. So another purpose of this is to generally talk about how I feel and to be honest, I don't think I'm going to end up keeping up to date with this daily. I just don't have the motivation. I've just been sick of my feelings and thoughts being downplayed as of recently. pisses me the fuck off. So I'm just stuck in this tragic shithole talking to nobody but myself like anyone gives a shit. if I didn't mean what I said, why would I say it at all? people are just fucking stupid. well...I don't doubt that but I do. I think it's more to do with who's actually around me.
these constant headaches from stress aren't helping. it's frustrating, actually. I've been trying to help my breathing but all it seems to be doing now is making me want to flip my shit. I've just been wanting to rip into everyone but I know a lot of what I feel is more to do with myself than other people. sigh. my head is pounding and I'm tired. I just want it to stop.