It's Complicated

Close Call

She looks towards the dark starry night as she let her legs dangle on the edge of the highest floor in her church. She wipes the tears that has been held inside her for years now "Nobody wants me here anymore" she thought to herself as she looked down from the edge and was ready to just push herself off.

"Just save yourself the time and just die already" she recalled one of her closest friends telling her that. She snapped out of her thoughts as her phone started to buzz in her pocket. She looked at the screen and stuffed her phone back into her pocket.

"How can he change my mind which I've set for about 5 years now in just a few hours" she told herself as she shed more tears. She was ready, she was ready to just disappear. "No more scoldings, no more hurts, no more scars, no more masks, no more insecurities, no more put downs, no more worries and definitely no more love" she closed her eyes and slowly leaned forward

Her phone rang. It was the 8th call this time. She had wanted him to be the last person she spoke to before she leaves, so she told him she's sorry before she sat on the edge and he's been calling her ever since. " I come here every week. Let's see if life really is worth living" as she got off and went downstairs to wait for her dad who was stuck in traffic as she stared at the scars she had given herself a few days ago and covered them again with the sleeves.

She showered, got into bed and was debating with herself to answer his calls or not as she looked at the amount of messages and missed calls. "Hello?" He said in a worried and shaky voice. All she could do was give a small grunt. She didn't know how to break it to him that she was sitting on the edge that night.

"Shhhhhh" he boyfriend'a calming voice came through her earphones as he put her to sleep. She was reluctant, afraid those nightmares will come back as they always do. "I'm right here, everything will be okay" she heard his soothing voice say as she fell asleep slowly.