It's Complicated

My life

"Maryanne it's 11 a.m." My mum said in a irritated voice as she took my dirty clothes away. I woke up and as soon as my mum left the room I looked at my phone. "Hello?" I said as I listened through my earphones for an answer. "Baby get up!!! I'm dying" I shouted on the mic "Baby??? What??? Are you okay??? What happened???" He said in a sleepy yet worried tone. "Yea I'm okay just wanted to wake you up" I said laughing to myself. "Such a noob" he answered as he kissed me through the phone. "You know you love me" I said "Yea... About that.... We need to talk" he said as my heart sank.

"Urgh fucking noobs" I yelled at my TV displaying that my team lost. I tossed the controller aside and turned off my console and went into my room. I lay there on my bed staring at my blade. It's been a month since my tempted suicide. My phone buzzed in my pocket too see him calling as I declined the call. "What's his problem? It's the 7th time he's broken up with me. Why is he calling?" I thought to myself, my eyes starting to fill up with tears "I really loved him" I screamed in my head as I slide my blade open and slice through my skin.

"Hello?" I finally picked up his calls "Hey... Just called to see how you're doing." He said. I missed his voice so much as I started to cry "Shhhhh it's okay. I'm right here. Shhhhh everything will be okay" I calmed down as his soothing voice came through my earphones and I slowly drifted off to sleep. "I'm sorry" I heard him say as I fell asleep.

He slowly lifts my shirt as I screamed for him to stop. He places his hands onto my boobs and squeezes them as I cried and yelled and woke up with sweat and tears "It's okay baby girl. I'm right here. Shhhhh" I heard his voice coming through my earphones. "Why you still here? Why did you put me to sleep?" I asked him all in a rush. "Because I know you have not slept for so many days and I feel really bad" he said in sympathy. "Well if you didn't break up with me I wouldn't fall back into my depression and get my insomnia back" I said as I cried harder. "I love you. I love you. I love you." I said as I cried harder and harder and he didn't answer. "I'll give you back everything on Monday" I said as I ended the call.

I rubbed my hands together as I walked into my cold classroom. "I shouldn't have put my jacket to wash" I thought to myself as I sat in my seat. He walked into class as I stared at him, he looked at me shiver and gave me his sweater. I declined but he forced me to wear it. For the whole day today he ignored me as he spoke to all of the girls in my class. I hated him talking to this one girl, Silver, he was always talking to her. He looked at me and we made eye contact. I bit my lip preventing myself from crying. "Are you okay?" He mouthed and I looked away as a year rolled off my cheek and when I looked back he was talking to her again. I stood up and walked towards the teacher. "Are you okay?" I glared at Silver who looked up at me "Yea, I'm fine" as I walked to the washroom after I got permission and cried till lunch was over.

I tossed my bag aside and lay on my bed. "I'm gonna leave. Tonight." I told myself. I typed a message to him to give him my last words. "Tonight's the night" I told myself as I hit the send button.