𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬| Saiki Kusuo x OC

1| Weakness

ᴊ-ᴘᴏᴘ ᴘʟᴀʏʟɪꜱᴛ

୨୧・┈┈・┈┈・୨୧

❀ 𝚁𝚊𝚍𝚠𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚜- "𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚞𝚖𝚎"

❀ 𝚁𝚊𝚍𝚠𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚜- "𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝙻𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚗"

❀𝚈𝚞𝚒𝚔𝚊- "𝚂𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗'𝚜 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐"

❀ 𝙼𝚊𝚏𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚏𝚞- "𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝙷𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚞𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚠"

❀ 𝙾𝚖𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎- "𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙱𝙻𝚄𝙴"

𝘿𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙙𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙨

I silently cried, hoping no one would hear my grievances. Hidden in the bathroom, under my blanket at night, or simply in my heart, there was never a time I would allow anyone to see my tears. Tears were a sign of weakness, and if my parents found out I was crying, it would simply get worse from there.

No privacy in my household. Insecure about my worth. Poor but taught to be grateful for everything. Pride shoved down my throat and ordered to say what they told me to say, always treated like a puppet doll. Friends didn't exist, and even if friendships were formed, they would soon be cut off.

Stress on my shoulders and the burden of the perfect daughter on my mind made me bottle everything up. And when someone tried to reach out, I would turn my head, avoid eye contact, and keep them at an arm's length, never allowing them to get close. As I grew up, the plastic walls and wooden doors were slowly becoming brick and cement, closing off any emotion from entering.

Whenever someone gave me a burden of a rock, I would add it to my wall. A wall built of the lost trust and forgotten hope that formed an incredibly high yet tight wall. It was so high and poorly built as there were cracks here and there.

It didn't matter, because no one ever peeked through the cracks.

After pushing people away so much, everyone stopped trying to get close. Once the walls were built, it was dark. Lonely. And only sadness remained. No hate, for I blamed everything on myself. No greed for I felt that I had nothing to complain about. No ambition for I had lost all reason to fight for anything. What was there to do with me when all my self-worth was gone?

When I looked up and realized how high and thick the walls had become, I didn't feel like taking them down. It would be too much work. The height of this wall was proof of the patience I had for people's shit.

Why bring them down? They'll just disappoint me again. Make me cry again. Make me carry the weight of their words with me at every moment and hate me when I messed up!

The only thing I had to make myself feel better was my mind and the feeling of letting everything go. Not caring about the world beyond the walls and simply holing up in my own world.

In my world, there was no need for stress. No need to break your back over something the world has laid on your shoulders such as 'standards' and 'expectations'. No need to hold your breath and jump into the deep waters when you don't even know how to swim.

No fear enveloping you left and right, making the idea of failure a terrifying and unbearable thought.

So I laid my mind to rest. I closed my eyes and dreamt of another world. A world where I wasn't an overly insecure and stressed girl who comforted herself with the people who existed in her head.