{Music recommendation for this cheapter: high enough (by. K.Flay), Happy pills (by. Weathers), Forever (by labrinth) }
POV: Y/N
When I finally got home I fell backwards on my bed. Finally some time for myself. It's not like I dont get time for myself that often bc. I do but still, today was one hell of a night. I still thouhgt of my "meeting" with that raven haired boy. His eyes looked so empty and full of life at the same time. I saw the scars he had on his face, he sure has truble finding friends. I wonder if he goes to college. Maybe he goes to the same college as me and I just never noticed him.
No. That is imposible someone with that many scars in their face. I schould've noticed him by now. That is just me hoping to meet him again. I wonder if he has a girlfriend, or boyfriend? Hell I dont think it's healthy to think so much of one person.
But I shouldn't be one talking of 'whats healthy or what's not'. I thought to myself while looking over to my nightstand whit three medication boxes standing on it. I'm not sick, just addictet to drugs. They keep the voice in my head under controll. They also let me forget how fucked up my life is. I mean I'm sure not the only one in this World who feels like their life is just hopeless. But you sure can say my life is...
[Time skip]
"Wait...what tf are you doing with that?!,, Screaming.stab noises.Blood. Blood,every where where you look is blood. "Mommy?,, "Mom say something!,, "Dad?!,, "what did you do to mommy and daddy?!,,
[Back in reality]
Tears where running down my face while I layed in my bed sobbing and still looking to the side where my drugs where. I still cant remember much from that night. All that I know is that my parents got killed by someone I knew. But who? "Why cant I just fucking remember?!,, I screamed into one of my pillow's. This is hillerious! Fucking hillerious!, why did they have to kill my parents?! And where did Kate go?! What exacly happend that fucking night?!
Who would want to harm my family? All of them where the sweetest people on earth, I loved them so much. So why?... Why did they have to get killed by this person? It just doesn't make sence.
"Because it was their fate,, the little voice in my head answered my thought's. "But-,, "no but's. Fate is fate. Be honest, you know it yourself.,, "... ,, ''see. I knew that you would Listen eventua-,,
*swallow*
"Shut.the fuck.up!,, I screamed and it went scilent. Everything was scilent now. No noises, no movements. Nothing. My vision went red, then blue and then yellow. The drug started to do it's job. Everything was just... Perfect. I cant describe this feeling, it's incredible. It's just so fucking releaving. It feel's like all my worry's and problems just fall down and where nothing. I just loved this feeling. That is probably why so many people get addictet to it.
But...what they dont tell you about drugs, is the feeling after the drug did it's job. The feeling after you where high is just...nothing. It feel's just empty. Like you just got run over by a truck. Men...what did I do to myself. Why does my life have to be like this. Mom, Dad, Ally. Everyone is gone. I am all by myself. And what did I do whit my life? I got addictet to drugs to drown myself in more problems. Bruh- my parents would be so disapointet. No, not my mom. She would hug me and tell me how strong I am, making it so far. She would play with my (hair length, hair collor) hair and prais me till I would stop crying. God I loved her so fricking much.
My Phone got me back to reality when I was getting lost in my thought's.
[Chat with 'Prew♡']
Prew♡: hey that one boy that is one simester over us is throwing a party tomorrow night. Are you going to come too?
You: I dont know.
Prew♡: Oh c'mon! It'll be fun, I swear! Pleasssss!!!>^<
You: Are you drunk again?😑
Prew♡: Maybe~... *><?
You: Prew.
Prew♡: And what if I am huh? Who are you, my mom?
You: No. But still. That much alcohol isn't good for you, and you know that Prew.
Prew♡: Says the one with the drug addiction. I bet you're high right now, arent y'a?
You: ...
Prew♡: Knew it! So~ Are you comming or what?
You: I hate you. And yes, I'll come.
Prew♡: Awww. You know you love me~^^
You: What ever. You: See you Idiot.
[End of the chat]
God I hate her some times. But still, she was there for me when I had no where to go. So I gues I owe her. I would protect her with all I have. I just love her to much to lose her.
I stood up from my bed, still a little wablly on my feet from the drug but I could still walk. I walked to my bathroom, over to my bathtub and let warm water run in it. I took of my clothes and got into my bathtub. My face under Water, looking up to the seeling of my bathroom.
{You}
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I just wish that this blue eyed boy is on that fucking party tomorrow. I wann meet him, talk to him, get to know him. Hell even touch him. I want that so fucking bad. I feel like I'm dying.
Would he even notice me? Or where I just some girl he liked to watch at the strip club? When that's the case, what it most likely is, then I'm screwd. He doesn't know how much I crave to even talk to him, or look into his perfect ocean blue eyes. God I sound crazy, dont I. I am so fucked up. I mean what sane humen being would simp over a men they never met, just looked at a very long time at the fucking strip club. In that point I think I just repeatet myself bc. I thought the same thing when I got into my car after my shift. God I'm so dumb-
I set up in my bathtub and startet to wash myself with my faviourite shampo, it smells like a feeld with thousends of red roses. At least that is how I imagine it, on the shampo bottle itself just stands 'Rose shampo by. Head and shoulders'.
After a hour I got out of the bath and got dressed. I wore a pastel pink Bunny hoody with matching underwear. Shorts are overrated anyways. At least at night in bed. After I got dressed I brushed my teeth and dry'd my hair. Then I got into bed and slowly drifted to sleep.
"Please be there and remember me,,____________________________________________________________________________
Word count: 1168 Pew- that was my longest cheapter till jet- Well~ I hope you enjoyed this cheapter. I wonder what will hapen at the party. Well I gues we will find out next time. Bye~^^!
