Mock a Mile in My Shoes

Chapter 9

This was not part of the plan. In fact, there no longer was a plan.

Robbie blundered around inside the airship, tripping and skidding over a rolling mass of mail tubes strewn across the floor. He managed to make it over to one wall and slid down, his legs giving out from under him. He wrapped his arms around his bent knees and stared at the bright interior of the gondola.

He'd trapped himself up here. Robbie had plenty of experience infiltrating Sportacus' airship and he knew how temperamental the controls could be. Touch the wrong thing, make a wrong move, and he could send the ship into a tailspin. Climbing back down that spindly ladder was not an option— climbing all the way up had been bad enough for a man afraid of heights. He was stuck.

Now that he was alone and out of immediate danger, everything that had happened came rushing in on Robbie's thoughts all at once. He replayed the moment over and over again in his mind, trying to figure it out, but he didn't understand.

He had embraced masquerading as Sportacus and doing everything he could think of to ruin the hero's reputation. He'd turned LazyTown upside down with his bad deeds. The looks on those kids' faces— priceless! For a moment there it had looked like they were actually afraid of him, afraid of Sportacus. Who would want a crazy and dangerous elf hanging around after all of that?

Apparently everybody.

It wasn't fair. Why would they still like Sportacus after all the things that Robbie did today? Was it really because they were his friends? Robbie had underestimated the power of rapport between the children and their hero. Why did he ever think this would work?

Even when Sportacus managed to catch him the kids had stopped him— they stopped Robbie Rotten from helping them. Why? Did they distrust him that much? Not that he didn't give them good reason, but still... was it really because they weren't his friends?

"Stupid blue elf," Robbie muttered. He let his head drop and rest against his arms.

"Sportacus, your energy readings are low."

Robbie jerked in place, his head snapping back up. Where had that voice come from? "Hello?" he asked the air.

"You've missed your midday snack. Sportscandy will restore your energy."

Robbie pushed himself up against the wall, rising back on his feet as he looked around. He couldn't pinpoint the speaker. Was it... the airship? That would figure for Sportacus to have an AI installed on his aircraft, probably to remind him to do his stretches or eat apples or whatever. It certainly wasn't something Robbie would ever have in his lair. His lair was a place of solitude, somewhere he wanted to be alone.

Right now, though... Robbie glanced around at the blank white walls and cleared his throat. "Where is the food?" he asked, already feeling ridiculous. He was used to talking to himself, but this was something else.

The voice did not answer, responding instead with a shooshing noise as an oblong table swung out of the wall. He approached it only for his curiosity to be dampened. Nothing but fruits and vegetables covered the table.

What he wouldn't give for a giant slice of cake! He would stuff himself silly with sugary sweets if only there were any to be had on this infernal airship. Of course that would mean putting Sportacus' body into a sugar meltdown. Knocking himself unconscious to satisfy his sweet tooth probably wasn't the best idea. Especially not with the nanny AI breathing down his neck.

"On second thought, I'm not hungry," Robbie said. The airship obliged him and sent the table shuttling back into the wall.

"Would you like to engage the calisthenics program to work up your energy?" the voice asked.