Amnesia Z.M.

02

As the party went on, I was starting to feel this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was going to happen tonight. I looked out the window and rested my head on my arm praying that this night was soon going to be over.

As soon as I got there I found the most isolated place possible and inhaled the sent of cigarettes, beer, and other intoxicating things.

"Hey mate come, and meet a few of my friends." I forced to get my self up from the chair and everything went black for a minute.

-

"Zayn!" My muscles were tense and weak, my eyes watered and my vision blurd.

I blinked once,

Twice,

Three time,

And then four.  The speed would increase with every blink, frustration was raging through my body. Frustration because I was lying on the ground, frustration because my eyes were weak, frustration because nothing was clear.

"Are you alright?"  Louis extended his arm to me, but it took a while to get on my feet and process everything. "Umm, yeah, I'm ok-ok," 

Loud cheers and soon the group of people were gone and I wasn't the center of attention. I wad still a little rattled and shook up, but I looked for an exit, pushing and trying to make my way through the crowd of bodies. The touch of them felt hot and there skin was on fire. I've never experienced anything like this everyone is in there own bubble , dancing there thoughts away, smoking there worries away, overcoming there fears and overcoming people, drinking there problems away. It maybe the way they deal with life. There way of copimg with change and the difficult parts in life that no other human being understands. I've never thought of these people in that way. I was taught it was not a way of living.

Then again, it's the only they know how to live. It's their way of living.

The heat the bodies are giving off makes me gasp for more air. Suffocation is my fear not just the kind without air, but anything that makes you breathless.

Like love.

"Sure your okay?" I looked at the hand that was firmly wrapped around my arm and looked up.

"Yes, everything is okay."

"Then why are you running?"

"Can you please let me go?" I looked at the blonde.

"I really need some air." The blonde quickly let go and looked at me. I headed outside immediately.

I was incredibly relived once i reached the door. I put my hands in my pocket and walked a few blocks down. the fresh breeze which soothed me. I thought about what happened and wondered why was i so different? My thoughts are different, my accomplishments, my abilities, my disabilities, my life. I'm tired of what I am. I'm tired of being different. I'm what I want to be, but deep down I don't know who i really am.

It's quite frightening.

"It feels so good doesn't it?" I turned around and the blonde from earlier was spinning while her shoes in one hand and her other in the air. I stopped and looked at her. She danced with no carex she danced with freedom and happiness it seemed.

"The fresh breeze, the stars are beautiful and bright. It's funny to think we are just one little tiny part of whats out there. All those stars could be something, but somethings are not to be discovered. They're  beautiful mysteries and that's the way we live." she looked and me and put both hands on her side. she half smiled and shrugged.