The Apple Story

“Come on bro, I’m serious, I’m seriously serious.”
“Seriously serious? What drugs are you on?”
“That’s what I wanna figure out!!”
“Figure out? What the hell do you even mean?” Anshuman, as confused as a cow, finally asks after a long discussion of nothing but pointless points.
“You remember how I never……….share my feelings and all that stuff?” Krishatt said, with embarrassment in his words.
“Vividly”
“Well, yesterday some sort of scene took place at my house and…….. God, I can’t still process where did I lost it”
“Lost what? Are you going to be a little clear or should I register this as one of your ‘Phases’?”
“I wish you could. But no. It was real. Very real”
“What the hell was it then?”
“It all started with me and mom getting into a fight……..”
“A fight!?” Anshuman interrupted in between.
“I mean an argument” Krishatt explains.
“Oh. That’s alright”
“Anyway, so I woke up late, no surprise there, as usual and then I got ready and whatever and then off to my Freelancer duty online to help everyone…….”
“Yeah yeah I know about it. You go on”
“Yes, exactly. So, I am laying on the floor of my parent’s room, while it was demolished into every bit of openable furniture, clothes, and all the crap and everything”
“But why?”
“My mom was on a cleaning frenzy so she opened up everything and then got busy in some other work”
“I meant why were you laying on the floor?”
“Are you not listening? The room was a mess bro, there wasn’t a place to sit there, what was I supposed to do?”
“Then why didn’t you just go to another room?”
“I don’t know, As soon as I got ready, I got into my phone and then just laid there”
“Now it makes sense”
“Yeah anyway so I was laying there and talking to people and all, you know the drill”
“Talking to strangers you find on social media and share extremely personal information and then never talking to them again. I know. Go on.”
“Okay, then my mom barges in and she’s all furious on me which was correct of her to do so because I deserved it but then she took it too far”
“What did she do?”
“She started throwing all those personal attacks on me like 'You’re are a useless piece of shit' and 'The clothes you have on takes more money to be cleaned than what you earn' and even more”
“But you don’t earn anything, you’re a teenage right now, not even in college properly”
“Exactly. It takes 3 rupee for each piece of cloth to be cleaned”
“Oohh. That’s gotta hurt”
“Not only this, God knows how much she said, even though I’m trying to improve myself so much and I even did in the last 2 days but those 2 days were like they never Happened and I am still a piece of shit who hogs in his parents home 24/7”
“Damn, man”
“Anyway, I got angry too, obviously and we had this great fight……..sorry. Argument. We had this great and big argument and there was screaming and eye wetting involved and then she barged out of the room saying ‘You won’t leave this house no matter what' and that’s why I wasn’t able to come to your place”
“Okay”
“Anyway, then everything she said triggered me or something and then my facial expressions are going all crazy and everything since I’m now trying so hard to control my tears from rolling down and then I went straight to my room doing that and shit for like almost an hour. I had to clean my nose 3 times at least”
“You were about to cry because of this little incident?”
“No, it was actually that this incident triggered what was pent up inside me for 6 months duration of this Pandemic”
“Oh.”
“Yeah man, I mean come on, I know I am clumsy pathetic mess but that doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve attention and care. I mean before this Pandemic, I was away from home anyway so I couldn’t notice it back then and before being outside in hostel for my high school, when I was here, even then I didn’t notice much cause I would be busy with you or the boys most of the time.”
“Okay…..”
“Of course, it does. I mean, this Pandemic may have brought me and the family closer but as it is, I got to see the true feelings that my family had for me, for real. They love me of course,  because they have to since I am family but turns out, they don’t like me……as a person or as a son or as a brother or as a grandson or…….. anything”
Krishatt waits for a moment and then they both drink the glass of water, sitting in front of them, each. The awkward silence passed as Krishatt continued his dilemma.
“I am sorry. Anyway, Then, after controlling myself, I thought I should go to the roof to help me pent it up yet again”
“Oh yeah, that always helps” Replied Anshuman to support his continuation of the story.
“Exactly, so yeah I went to roof and not the roof but the roof above the actual roof”
“You mean level 3rd? Oh my god!”
“Exactly bro. So I went to the 3rd floor-roof  and then I sat there.”
“What do you mean sat?”
“You know, sat there, resting my back against the cold wall, facing the sun, while it dries my teary eyes and I feel relaxed in every inch of my body as the sun stroke down on me so gently I could feel the warmth in me that I knew I always lacked from my family and I laid there as much as I could so that oblivion won’t swallow me whole into it’s non-ending void of sadness and depr………”
“Yo, hey whoa! Hey Shakespeare! Calm down will you?” Anshuman interrupted Krishatt as he started to speak almost a foreign language.
“Oh, yeah sorry man. Anyway, so I was chilling on the roof, sitting by the side” concluded Krishatt.
“Yeah, that I got.”
“Then as I was chilling my way into soberness, my brother came up to check on me and took me with him downstairs into his room”
At this point, Anshuman was on his toes, hanging on Krishatt's words as he was so curious to find out what happened next.
“So, what happened next?”
“What to happen? It’s not like he’s blind or anything. He does see my condition so he thought he had enough and he had to get it out of me himself”
Now, even more into the story Anshuman says “Then what happened?”
“He took me to his room and then let’s just say he ‘Forced open the cork screw' and I………. flooded”
“Damn. You? Cried? Really?”
“Yup”
“Are you even able to show your feelings?” asked Anshuman in a shocked-sarcastic tone as he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“I never knew I could. All I can say is that I………….felt so light when it all ended. I have got to say, I’m an ugly crying animal”
“I loath myself for why I wasn’t abled to see you like that!”
“Loath? Look who’s trying to be Shakespeare now” commented Krishatt as a sarcastic follow-up.
“Is that it? Is that The End of the Great Silence of Krishatt Varjaman?” Anshuman gave another comeback.
“Yeah well if you put it that way, I guess you missed the show of the century”
“Damn it. Well, what are you gonna do?”
“Tell you what happened next”
“Wait, there’s more?” asked Anshuman in an agony that meant he is kind of tired but willing to hear more.
“What I told you was not the craziest part” Krishatt says in an utmost confidence that meant he was really excited to tell this one.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Go on!”
“Then as the whole day came to an end, it was me after my confused hangover due to legit crying and all that, laying on the bed in my parents bedroom, probably to sit with my dad. He was having apples”
“What?”
“I mean he was having apples as for a small meal with drinks”
“Makes sense. Go on”
“So as I was laying there, trying to grasp what the actual hell happened today, I ate an apple and not a whole apple as in without peeled or squared or chopped, but it was just lying there, on the bed, in a plate, perfectly peeled and chopped and squared up for my dad, in his room. I have put my phone to charge so I had nothing much to do in my hand. As any normal human being would do, I automatically stretched my hand to pick out a piece of the perfectly chopped, peeled and squared apple, lying in front of me. I picked it up and I ate it and it was not a special fruit, neither mixed with alcohol or something, but today it felt different. I mean seriously, eating a fruit felt different today. I mean how does eating a fruit even feel? Does it even produce a feeling when you eat a fruit? I don’t know but today I felt something after a slice of peeled and chopped apple”
Krishatt stops talking for a moment and they both take another gulp from the glass in front of them, each.
Krishatt continues “It was a fresh, juicy apple, no different than other apples we had. As soon as I started chewing that piece of apple, it was like a bomb went off in my brain, like the flavor of that apple slice took over my brain. It was no longer my brain, full of troubled feelings and nothing but hurtful memories, no. It was suddenly a different brain. I felt suddenly colored pale-ish yellow, with a soft moist texture. My brain turned into a big giant apple slice itself. Even if for a mere span of seconds, I felt so relaxed. It was not like I was high, I have never done drugs but it was totally something else. I felt…….so Happy and satisfied, a little mini-trip if you want to label it. At that moment , I didn’t think of anything but a relaxed happy me. It was like every effort I did to think of something else in that moment just made my brain-turned-apple-slice squeeze and give me more happy juice. It was a trip of merely seconds until I swallowed the well chewed apple slice down my throat and that trip became a pleasant memory”
“Holy fuck! Is this what you wanted to talk about?”
“Yup. I mean Anshuman, I ate 11 slices of apple to confirm what I felt. You remember how you go like “Mmmmmm” whenever you eat something so delicious you can’t resist but to say it. I ate 11 slices of apple, I went like “Mmmmmm” 10 times. With every slice of apple I kept eating, I kept getting that trip to the lane of happiness. I even tried to extend the time period and I did in fact a couple of times by the margin of sheer 1-2 seconds but not more than that. It felt like as soon as the apple slice got chewed away by my teeth, the juice released went straight to my brain and covered it as a whole. The “Mmmmmmm” sound, I concluded, must be our brain trying to grasp our sense of living before it gets taken over by the over-whelming  taste of living happiness from the fruit you had after a long hectic day of sadness and down-feeling and finally leaves you with nothing but relaxation for whatever period of time it can and in this case, judging by the size of the slice, obviously 2-4 seconds”
Anshuman sitting beside Krishatt, silent in awe but keeping his eye contact with Krishatt as he knew this is not the end of it. It was getting late now but this was very important to be done with. They both refilled their glasses, now with soft drinks, sitting on the pavement of the corner of Anshuman's roof, their legs hanging down from the floor above the dead-end sewer. They both took a sip as Krishatt continued.
“Is this what normal feels like? Is this is how you’re supposed to feel everything? Finding happiness in everything?”
“I guess?”
“Wrong. Happiness never comes to you when you seek it. It comes to you anonymously. That surprise element is what makes it a happy experience. Once you see it coming, it’s just an event. When you seek it, it’s a formality but when it comes to you unexpectedly, it’s an event of happiness”
And awkward silence stirs as the wind starts blowing slowly and the sun is starting to get reddish orange, beautiful lights all over the place. Krishatt continued.
“I am well aware that I won’t be able to get the same feeling back ever again whenever I will eat an apple. But if I will do, it will be unexpected and this time, I would enjoy it as much as I can and won’t think about it later. This time, if it ever happens again that is, I would enjoy to the fullest, without thinking of it’s origin, it’s sense of existence or it’s after effect. I guess this is the true meaning of living the moment. Maybe. Maybe not, maybe I was high after all from all the crying and sobbing and swollen eyes and revealing and opening up or all the other crappy things we make each other believe that are going to make a difference but actually, they don’t. Again, maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it wasn’t about being high and was actually about coming out of your closed world  and it’s after effect, a one time experience. Whatever it was, we all know that it could have been because of millions of wonderful reasons or tragic ones maybe. But the main point here is that………”
Krishatt stops midway as he finds it hard to continue because he is wiping the drop of tear off his cheeks from his sleeves. He takes another sip from his glass while Anshuman looks at him without a single expression of any major feeling. Krishatt picks up where he left.
“…bu…but the main point to reconcile here is that it happened and it made me happy in one of my most difficult of phases and nobody gave it to me, nobody was like 'Here, have a couple of sliced apples, you deserve this at least after all you went through, we’re sorry we will try to be more loving from now on'. No. Not single person did that for me. I did it myself, even if accidentally, I gave myself some happiness and now, I am grateful that it happened. Now……..”
Krishatt takes a deep sigh as his story comes to a conclusion.
“……that’s all that matters”
Anshuman bowed his head down as he didn't knew what to react to this. They both then started looking towards the Sunset, as it’s bright shine is starting to become dull-ish orange.
“Wow, that was quite a stretched rant, huh?” Finally said Krishatt after finishing his drink in one take.
“Yeah, but I am glad it happened. Now I know it wasn’t an another phase of yours, but it was the conclusion of the end of it”
Krishatt looks towards Anshuman with a smile he didn’t had for quite awhile. Anshuman is still starting at the beautiful sunset, smiles too as he knew what just happened.
“This is nice” said Krishatt.
“Yeah. This is nice”
Agreed Anshuman as they both then saw the sun hiding into it’s home now, preparing to be bright on the other side of the world.