Snapshots

Virtually Inseparable

I was flying from a small town in Wisconsin to a slightly-less-small town in Tennessee. My economy seat on the plane was in the second row from the back, and I was squished between a fat, bald man and a dark-haired woman who would end up typing aggressively on her MacBook Pro throughout the entire three-hour flight. The bald man kept the window closed, so I couldn't even peek around him to watch the sun set below the clouds. My tank-top and shorts, which were perfect for a hot July afternoon at the lake, gave me no protection in the air-conditioned plane, and my arms and legs grew rough with goosebumps.

I stuck my headphones in my ears and played my music as loudly as I could stand.

~

Four years ago, Naomi and I started following each other on Instagram. Neither of us remember exactly how it happened, but we both remember the day she first messaged me.

"Do I even know you?"

"I don't think so lol," I replied.

"Well let's fix that. I'm Naomi."

"Lol hey Naomi! I'm Rochelle."

"What state do you live in?"

"Tennessee. You?"

"Wisconsin."

"Woah, aren't y'all famous for cheese or something?"

"HAHA yeah we like our cheese. What's Tennessee famous for? Music, right?"

"Idk, I guess so. We have a lot of whiskey and Little Debbies too."

She had a dog named Sienna. I had a cat named Macbeth. She was a sophomore in high school, and I was a junior. She liked chicken tenders and the color pink. I liked mint chocolate chip ice cream and the color blue. We both wore glasses, and we both liked coffee, stuffed animals, and musicals.

We soon graduated from messaging on Instagram to sending snaps on Snapchat. From there, we exchanged phone numbers and FaceTimed each other almost daily. We had never met, but we were inseparable.

~

I saw the snack and drink cart making its way slowly down the aisle, closer and closer to my seat. I tried to decide if I wanted pretzels or peanuts, Coke or ginger ale. My stomach was throwing a tantrum; I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

I didn't remove the headphones from my ears. I just watched the flight attendant's face and waited until she was looking at me and her red lips moved in the shape of the words, "Any snacks? Any drinks?"

"Pretzels and ginger ale, please." It was getting hard to tell the difference between hunger pangs and anxious nausea. Ginger ale and some carbs should take care of both.

I could smell the salt in the package before a pretzel even made it into my mouth. They were hard and dry. But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed that pretzels were supposed to be salty and hard and dry, so I couldn't place what was actually wrong with them. Maybe it was just my bad mood. The ginger ale was good, though. Sharp-tasting with lots of bubbles.

I placed my napkin and empty pretzel bag neatly into my cup and set it at the edge of my tray table where the flight attendant could easily reach it when she came to gather trash. I turned down the volume of my music just a little bit and rested my arms on the table and my head in my arms, willing myself to take a nap. I don't really know if I did.

~

Three-hundred and fifty-six dollars.

That's how much it cost to buy a round-trip plane ticket from Tennessee to Wisconsin.

I saved up for two whole months. I worked extra hours at the restaurant and didn't spend any more of my paycheck than absolutely necessary. I said no to movies, eating out, and shopping at bookstores. I drove my car as little as I could to save on gas. When the day I had enough money finally came, I bought my ticket and immediately FaceTimed Naomi.

"Guess who's coming to Wisconsin July fifteenth!"

She screamed. I laughed. She laughed. We cried. We planned each day down to the hour. We planned meals and snacks. We planned activities we knew we wouldn't end up doing just to have an excuse to keep planning and pretend I was already there.

Time never moved more slowly. Each day was painfully long. I didn't know how I could wait three months to see her, but somehow I did, and after four years of talking through Instagram, Snapchat, and text, the day finally arrived when I would be able to see my best friend in person.

~

A hand was shaking me. I lifted my head to see the flight attendant. I removed my headphones from my ears.

"Please put your tray table away. We're about to land," she said before moving on to the row in front of me.

I closed my tray table and stretched my arms forward. They had gone numb after holding the weight of my head for so long, and they slowly came to life with a sensation that felt the way static electricity sounds. I checked my phone. 11:37 pm. Mom would be waiting to pick me up, excited to hear all about my trip, wanting to know all about Naomi and her family. My stomach twisted because it knew she was going to be disappointed. I didn't want to have to relive it all over again.

~

The moment I saw Naomi waiting for me at baggage claim, I screamed and ran to her as fast as I could. She ran to meet me, and we collided into a big, tangled, crying mess on the cold floor.

Naomi was the first to stand up, and the first thing she said after helping me to my feet was, "Wow, you're taller than me!"

We had an amazing week. We went to the Mall of America, Lake Superior, and a dairy farm. We visited the lake behind her house and went fishing, kayaking, and swimming. I ate my very first cheese curd and got to pet Naomi's dog, Sienna. We held hands, talked late each night, and took pictures of the two of us wherever we went.

Seven days passed by way too quickly, and all too soon I was back at the airport. It was too sunny outside for such a sad day. I removed my suitcase from the trunk of the car and hugged Naomi tightly.

"I can't wait to see you again when you come to visit me," I said in between sniffles.

"What?" She stopped hugging me and raised an eyebrow.

"You know, in Tennessee."

"Oh. Yeah, sure."

I shook off the weird exchange and hurried to catch my flight. Just before takeoff, my phone buzzed with a text from Naomi.

"Rochelle, you've been a great friend for several years, but this past week has shown me that we are two very different people. Maybe I'm just being sensitive, but I don't think I could handle another week in the same house as you. I think we would be better friends if we didn't see each other in person anymore. I hope you understand."

I didn't understand. I didn't understand at all. How could we go from being so close to never seeing each other again? What did I do? What did I say? Why didn't she tell me anything before?

I didn't say any of that. Instead, I slowly typed, "Of course I understand. Thank you for telling me."

I turned my phone on airplane mode. I stuck my headphones in my ears. Iturned the volume up on my phone. I rubbed my arms, covered in goosebumps, andclosed my eyes, willing myself to understand what I would never understand.