Wherever It Takes Us

I was zoning out. Everything seemed like a blur to me. That morning, I got up and went to the bathroom. I noticed there was no toilet paper, so I got on my knees and started looking under the sink. Instead, perched on an almost completely hidden ledge, was a razor. I froze, but it didn't take me long to realize it's meaning. Katherine started cutting again. I tried to think of the last time I'd seen her wrists, but I came up empty. She had started covering them with bracelets again and I was too busy with my own life to even notice. That just went to show what a bad sister I was.

I didn't understand. Katherine had it all. She was strangely popular for a sophomore and was dating a football player. She was a cheerleader, played volleyball, and ran track. She had a 3.9 GPA and was above average in pretty much everything. Everyone she surrounded herself with was ridiculously nice and funny. She only settled for perfection. Where was she channeling all the emotional pain from?

"Markie?" Beth whispered. "Maarrkiee."

"What?" I said, becoming alert. I looked around and saw my friends looking at me expectantly.

"You're fading on us." Meredith sighed. "Is everything okay?"

"What? Yeah. I'm fine. Everything's fine." I said with a convincing smile. I glanced at the clock on the wall of the lunch room. "Oh, crap, I have to go to human geography to take a test. I'll catch up with you guys later, okay?" I hoped they couldn't see through my poor lie.

"You haven't eaten anything." Eliza comments.

"Not hungry." I shrug, standing up. I wave as I walk away. The second I leave the lunch room, I speed up my pace. I'm practically running when I run right into someone. "Oh, God, I'm sorry." I say apologetically. I look up and see it's Declan Callery, a guy who's also a junior. He almost never talks to anyone, but people keep saying he's Irish.

"It's fine." he mutters in a way that I can't tell if he has an Irish or not.

I take a slight risk when I ask, "Are you Irish?" I let my curiosity get the best of me.

"Think what you want to think." he says more clearly, and he's got everything but and Irish accent.

"Oh, uh, sorry." I say, avoiding his gaze. "I thought you were...Irish."

"Yeah, so does everyone else." he says irritably. He gives me a look and continues walking.

"Wait!" I call after him. But he doesn't stop until I say, "Declan!" He pauses and turns around and looks at me in annoyance. "I'm not everyone else."

He just shakes his head in a "whatever" way.

"I'm Markie." I blurt out, unsure of what to say.

"I know." he says so quietly I'm not sure he said it. "Why are you talking to me?"

"Why is it weird that I'm talking to you?" I ask skeptically.

He shakes his head again. "Because no one would talk to me." he says dully. But his bored expression is overcome by a sudden 'I've said to much' look. "Bye, Markie." With those two words ending the conversation, he disappears around the corner.

I get the strangest feeling inside me. Why do I like the way he says my name?

. . .

I come home and immediately drop my background on the ground. I hear giggling coming from the kitchen, and I know Katherine has some friends over. I cross the through the living room and sure enough, Katherine, Madison Holland, and Annie Vitale are sitting at the kitchen counter. It relaxes me a little to see Katherine smiling, but not much. She looks up and says brightly, "Hey, Markie."

"Hey, Kath." I reply, turning to get a bottle of water out of the fridge. "Hey, Maddie, Annie."

"Hi, Markie." the say in unison. I turn back around and they start giggling again and I see them flipping through pictures on Maddie's phone.

"What are you guys doing?" I ask, paying more attention to Katherine's bracelets than what they're actually doing.

"Just looking through old pictures." Annie shrugs.

"Cool." I say. "Hey, Katherine, can I talk to you?"

"Um, sure." she says, standing up. I nod my head towards the living room and she follows me there. We sit down on the couch and I'm not sure what to say or do next.

Without thinking, I say, "Take off your bracelets."

"No." she says too quickly, looking annoyed.

"Why not?" I demand.

"I don't know, some of them are hard to put back on." she shrugs.

I look at her doubtfully. "Do Maddie and Annie also cut?"

"I don't cut, Markie, that was freshman year okay? Things are better now." she says lightly.

"Then take off your bracelets." I say forcefully.

"No, just back off, okay?" She said, beginning to get angry.

"Why do you do it? How does it help you?" I ask.

"Leave me alone!" she hisses. She gets up and retreats back to the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I know immediately I took the completely wrong approach, but I didnt know what else to do. I just didn't understand, but I wanted to.