The Viscount's Captured Heart (On-hold)

I :: Disobeyed

Xelestia

"Your Dad and Mom are gone, Xelestia."

Those were the words said by Kuya that was engraved in my mind. I'm seven years old by now and I will turn eight in just 3 days. Mama and Papa died exactly 1 year ago and I'm still mourning for them. I know what death means, it wasn't new to me since I've been in a lot of wake before with my relatives' death. This mourn is new to me since it was my parent's whom I am mourning for.

Thank God, Kuya allowed me to have a calendar in my room so I can track the days, months, and years. I did nothing these past years. Sleep, eat, color my coloring books were my routine.

I never saw Kuya after my parent's burial. He's wearing a mask that's covering half of his face so I could only see his eyes, the point of his nose and his lips. I am really curious of what he looks like and I badly want to take it off to see what he completely looks like.

I'm seven years old and 1 and a half year na rin akong nandito sa madilim, tahimik at malaking pamamahay ni Kuya. Buti nalang ay sinasamahan ako ni ate Plora rito sa kuwarto ko at may nakaka-usap ako kahit papaano.

I'm thinking about studying. Bago kasi mamatay sila Mama ay nag-aaral ako, grade 1. I was not able to continue due to their death. I want to talk to Kuya about it but I never had a chance. Hindi ako puwedeng lumabas ng kuwarto kaya hindi ko talaga siya maka-usap.

Pero ngayong gabi ay gagawan ko na ng paraan para maka-usap siya. I should disobey and sneak if that's the only way to make him talk to me. I don't want other people to get involve in my plan, kung may sisisihin si Kuya ay dapat ako lang. Bata ako kaya alam ko na hindi niya matitiis na maka-usap ako.

Pero may parte saakin na natatakot. Why? because I can always hear his scary voice that echoes in every corner of this house, sometimes I can feel that he's mad, naririnig ko rin ang pagka-basag ng kung anu-ano and it got me worried. I want to know what's happening outside pero hindi pwede, I am prohibited to go outside my room.

My life here is so boring. Paubos na uli ang coloring books at crayons na inutos ko kay ate Plora na ipabili. Hindi rin ako makanood ng teletubbies, wala akong gadget!

You might be wondering how I could think like this at the age of seven. Simple! because Mama and Papa already introduced the reality to me, they taught me how to behave, what should I do and they taught me what is right and wrong. I learned to be mature at such a young age.

But those are the only things I knew aside from alphabet, numbers, colors, fruits, and vegetables. Wala na akong ibang alam pa.

"Xelest, kumain ka na. Nandito si Sir pati mga bisita niya kaya hindi ako puwedeng magtagal dito dahil kailangan nila ako ro'n."

Sumimangot ako dahil sa sinabi ni ate Plora. I want to talk to her pa naman dahil wala akong magawa at hindi ako makatulog.

Nilapag niya ang tray sa lamesa na katabi lamang ng pinto ng kwarto ko. I lazily stood up and walked towards the table like a zombie.

"Ate, stay ka nalang dito. Please?" pagmamakaawa ko at pinagdikit ko ang palad ko para ipakita ang please sign.

Bumuntong hininga si ate Plora. "Uutusan kasi ako sa baba, magagalit saakin si Sir kapag wala ako mamaya. Paliliguan lang kita tapos bababa na ako."

I pouted. Wala akong ibang magagawa, hindi ko siya puwedeng pilitin. Umupo ako sa upuan at si ate Plora naman ay sumandok na ng pagkain ko at sinubo 'yon saakin. I don't know what food this is but I don't like it.