Maria sadly has the same fashion sense as me. Sweats. They are just comfortable and easy, just not stylish. Her first rule is
1. Clothes; throw anything that is a size or more too big, anything that doesn't prove you have boobs, a butt, or curves, anything that a male would wear.
I raided my closet, throwing away everything she mentioned. Including my favourite Garage sweat pants, and my lucky West 49 hoody packed with holes. I asked my friend Lucille to come shopping with me, since she knows how to actually dress like a girl.
We went to the mall Rixton and my normal go to's are Hot Topic and Stitches, but Luci drags me into Sirens. It's pretty much a sexier version of Stitches. She pushes three skirts, two shirts, and a dress into my tiny hands. I hold onto the hangers as though they were my life.
"Do you want me to buy them?" I ask, "Cuz I dont think i have enough money."
"No stupid," she yells a little too loud, and drags me into one of the change rooms. "Youre supposed to try them on and buy the ones you like!"
I close the door to the change room confused towards why I should try on clothing I know Im not going to like, or feel comfortable in. I start with the dress, a solid deep pink, with thin straps at the top, ends just above my knees, and poofs out at the bottom as it thins out at the top, making my boobs feel bigger then i know they are. I look at myself in the mirror in front of me. My bigger body looking thin, and my legs look long, the pink brings out the green in my eyes. I walk out and Lucille's jaw drops.
"Now that is what I call a sexy transformation!"
"Really?" I look at myself again. I feel good, better than before, but something feels off. It doesnt seem like me, but Im not being me, Im being Maria; and Maria would approve.
I bought the dress, one of the skirts which was plain black with a floral lace design, and both shirts, one with daisy's and a black bow at the top of the back, letting the back stay open. The other is a beige crop top with tiny holes making it look knitted.
We went through the whole Rixton mall and left with empty pockets, and full bags. Bags withholding a sweater and a pair of leggings from TNA; two pairs of jeans from Garage; a skirt and two shirts from Forever 21; a shirt from Le Chateau; and two pairs of jean shorts from Fairweather. Half of those stores didnt exist to me until today. Though I had to put up a fight with Lucille, we went into Coles, treating myself with the Divergent series and Paper Towns. Lucille bought herself a bikini from Bikini Village and a dress from Forever 21. She wanted to buy Starbucks on the way out, but I was too broke for anything over five dollars.
Once we got home we went through all my empty drawers and replaced the hand me downs with brand new clothes. Lucille and I dropped dead onto my bed.
"Today was successful." I say, staring at the fan on the ceiling. The fan is my escape, its what I stare at when anxiety takes over, when Im tired, when I had a bad day; and once the fan gets boring, I move onto the stipples, making shapes with them in my head.
"Cant wait til the slang chapter." Lucille laughs.
"Why," I ask shoving a pillow in her face. "Is successful to gargantuan for poor Lucille's vocabulary?"
"No!" She takes the pillow and sits up, "you just talk like youre a sixty year old man who got, like straight A's all his life."
"Well, I do have a 4.0 grade point average." I brag. "Which does not even include the extra credit I handed into Mrs. Hannigan because I am going to miss the assignment she is giving the class over March Break."
Lucille rolls her eyes. "G'night loser."
"Have a nice sleep, I am planning on reading for an hour or so. Do you mind the light?"
"No Einstein, I'll see ya in the morning."
I laugh a little and open the book.
Maria walks in the school on Monday and already feels like a new person, her Guess shirt fits tight around her waist and her Lasenza thong makes her Lulu Lemon leggings have no creases. Her Roots backpack is the only thing unchanged. She walks timidly to her locker, eyes following her every move as though she was a new creature roaming in their territory. Daniel gives her a quick glance before Veronica pulls him closer to her and steals his attention. Maria notices the glance and is impressed with her transformation already, and this is only step one.
"Oh my god Maria! You are looking amazing! Ain't no one calling you rachet no more." Tawnie screams a little too loudly for Maria's liking. Maria thinks of Tawnie, and how she always looks amazing, but ruins it once she opens her mouth. If only she could speak with some intelligence, and kept unneeded things unsaid, Maria usually thinks to herself.
I cant help but laugh, nothing makes me think of Lucille better than that one sentence about Tawnie.
"You look great, but youre missing one of the most needed parts of this. Next step time!" Tawnie screeches.
"Crucial" Maria corrects.
"What?" Tawnie asks, her blur eyes squinting as she stares.
"Saying that its the most needed part does not sound proper. You should say the most crucial part." Maria speaks with such a small voice, Tawnie has the voice which speaks for both of them.
"Oh stop that! We will get to speaking later. For now we are moving on to fixing this." Tawnie motions towards Maria's face.
"What is the problem with my face?" Maria looks at her feet.
"Nothing! Oh my god nothing Mama."
"You are aware I do not appreciate the term 'Mama' as a nickname for myself." Maria gives a little scowl. Tawnie just rolls her eyes and keeps talking.
"I just want to pluck a few hairs, and teach you how a little eyeshadow, and eyeliner, and obviously mascara. Then it wont just be pretty, it will be beautiful!"
Maria looks at her feet again. Thinking about how much plucking will hurt, and how she feels as though not even her friends find her beautiful without a little repercussions.
