Roaming the streets

late night stroll

TW: (talk about): Loss, depression, insomnia, suicidal thoughts

(y/n) POV

Since your mother died your whole life seemed to go down the hill from there. Your dad went out ddrinking almost every evening after he got off of work. Sometimes bringin home some weird girl from a bar. A lot of noise filling the house and causing you to lose sleep. Not that you had a regular sleeping schedule. Since the death of your mom your doctor told you you were falling into a depression. He recomanded you to go talk to someone, a therapist perhaps. Your mom was your own personal therapist, no one would ever be able to understand you on a level that she did.

Your mom knew when something was up just by looking at your face and you only needed a little nod or some kind of gesture to let her know that you didn't want to talk about it or the other way around. You used to have a therapist. Your mom was your 'therapist'. She was your rock, the life line you so desperatly needed now that she was gone. You are convinced that you'll never be able to fill the void she left.

With the depression came the insomnia... And with all that came the heavy drinking. It turned out that you and your dad did have something in common. You both were able to down a bottle of hard liquor at an unacceptable pace. And to think some people say that you are nothing alike your father.

Sometimes you are convinced that things will get better even tho your depression and insomnia seem to get worse. You liked to stay as positive as you could and not let anyone know how hard you were struggling. The nights are always the hardest.

It was one of those nights where, around mifnight, your dad finally came home. By the way the front door slammed open you already knew he was very drunk. After you stayed quiet in your room and listened for some time you could hear that he brought home another woman again. And they werent planning on sleeping anytime soon.

You put your earplugs in and tried to sleep for a bit. But after an hour and a half and it already being 2AM you realised you also werent going to be sleepiing anytime soon. When your insomnia got this bad you sometime decided to go on a late night stroll. You made sure you had your pepperspray, phone and headphones and left the house before your dad coukd notice.

Living in New York there was still a lot of movement outside even tho it being 2AM. You decided to find a quiet place in the park and sat down on a park bench. You closed your eyes and listened to thee beautifull songs from Fleetwood Mac, Your mothers favourite band. Some tears started to build up and even tho your eyes still being closed they found their way down your cheeks. Silently sobbing with your eyes closed you sat on the park bench a little longer thinking about your mother. And about how your father started spiraling out of control. And the thought about what would happen if you just stood up and walked into the pond right in front of you might have even crossed your mind for a brief second. Just to be able to let it all go and stop thinking. To finally go to sleep.

As the tears started rolling down your face a little faster you put your head in your hands and start sobbing. Until you feel a hand touching your choulder. It was a gentle touch, the one that stille made you jump a little but also brought some kind of comfort within the second it was placed onto you. Swiftly you turn around looking into deep, brown eyes. They belonged to a woman with beautiful short, wavy, blond hair. She had plump lips and was biting the lower one gently. She looked concerned. Not just concerned but the genuine kind of concerned. Almost like the kind of look your mother used to give you.

"I'm sorry to bother you but it is awfully late to be sitting here all alone in a state like this."
The woman said, still with her hand on your shoulder. You really didn't want to bother her, you didnt even know the woman. And almost as if she was reading your mind she filled the silence you weren't yet able to fill.

" My name is Sarah, I was just taking a walk when i saw you. Well it was actually you sobbing that caught my attention. Are you alright darling?"

"I was just having a bad night I'm sorry to bother you I'm fine, really." You say.

Sarah looks at you and frowns. Almost as if she can clearly see how not oke you really are. Maybe it is beacause of the tears you are so desperately trying to hold back but are still managing to find their way down your cheeks.

"well, I'm also 'fine', so would it be oke if i'd be fine right next to you on this park bench?" Sarah asks you. You immediatly understand what she means by that and that you both have the same meaning of fine. Some kind of understanding and also appreciation for the kind woman makes you move over so Sarah is able to sit next to you. You stare at the pond in front of you deep in thought before you deside that it is now your turn to break the silence between the two of you.

"My name is (Y/N) by the way. I'm 20 years old and I lived in New york my whole life. My house is actually just a couple of streets away. I sometimes come here when I can't sleep. How about you, if you dont mind me asking?" You look at Sarah who is still looking to the pond right in front of you. She looks so stunning in the moonlight that is shining ery bright tonight. A soft breeze making her hair move but it never seems to get messy. She has the cutest nose, one that is perfect for kisses. It is just now that you realise how close you two are sitting next to eachother. So close you are able to see the hurt that is in het eyes. A kind of hurt that you know all to well. You look at her plump lips as they start to move.

"I come here to unwind, also when I cant sleep. And things have been happening in my life that I just am not able to let go. I come here to empty my head and sometimes cry. So when I saw you it was almost as if I was looking at myself from a distance." She turned her head and looked into my eyes. A shimmer formed in her eyes because of the tears that are building up. When a tear fell down her perfectly sculpted face I went to wipe it away. As I did so she grabbed my hand not for a second losing the eyecontact we made.

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Alright, part 2 is comming up! I hope you guys like where I'm going with this.. Let me know? Would be awesome :)