Sarah Paulson Characters One Shots - SMUT

Cordelia Goode ✦ The Accident

You're one of the students at the Academy, one of the old ones. Except the classes, you and Cordelia are like friends, close friends, but she's more than this to you. You don't even realize that you have a crush on her, you just think she's too important to you in a way you can't explain. One night, you're talking before going to bed and something happens...

***

You come to the kitchen and see Cordelia sitting at the table, drinking milk. You pour a glass of milk for yourself too and sit next to her.

"Hey."

"Hey, sweetie." You've always loved the pet names she's given to you.

"Can't sleep, huh?"

"Nope." She raises her half-filled glass with milk and takes a sip.

Actually, you're glad to see her. Lately, you can't stay alone with her, but you need a space to talk to her. You want to come out to her. You've not talked about that with her yet. Not with anyone, actually. You had never felt ready, but you do now, and you want her to be the first person you talk to. It's risky because you don't know how she'll react, but you can't hide it anymore.

"Well, Cordelia, I want to talk about something with you."

"Of course, honey, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Her smile immediately fades.

"No, no, I'm okay. Don't worry, just listen, please." You take a deep breath. "I don't know if there's a proper way to say that or how you will react or how I feel after admitting this to someone, but I can't take it anymore. I just have to talk with someone, share it, and I want you to be the first person I talk about, okay?"

"Okay, darling, go ahead." She seems worried and holds your hand. Your heartbeat fastens from stress.

"I- I... [another deep breath] I'm a lesbian. I love girls, not boys. I examine myself deeply, ask questions myself. I overthought this, and the only answer I can find is that I'm gay. I've tried to like the boys, but it's not working. This is just who I am. Do you understand? Please understand. I don't wanna lose you." You break into tears. Saying this out loud feels extremely amazing, you feel relieved.

"Hush, come here," she draws you to herself to embrace. She hugs you tightly. When she pushes you into her chest, you can't feel happier even if the tears keep coming.

When you calm down, you pull out.

"Thank you, Delia. You don't know how important it is to me. I just want to be accepted but I'm afraid of people's reactions. What if they say to me that I'm horrible?"

"They won't because you're amazing. If they don't accept you, then fuck them. Who needs them?" She squeeze your hand. "And if someone says you're horrible, you'll come to me, and I'll beat their ass up!" She says this with fake anger. She looks cute, and this gives you butterflies that you don't even know about them or where they come from.

"Okay, I promise I will," you chuckle.

"Actually, I don't think that I'm straight either. I've told you about Hank, I used to fall in love with him. But now I met someone. I don't know what she thinks, but I know myself, and I know I love her. To be honest, I don't think she likes me back because she's younger, and I'm too old for her, but- yeah..." She smiles sadly, and seeing her like this breaks your heart. She's absolutely the one who deserves happiness more than anyone.

"I'm sorry." You squeeze her hand. "I wish there were something I could do for you. You deserve to be happy more than anyone on the earth, I want you to be happy." You hug her. "And I think you should talk to her."