HANDS OF TIME | rantaro kiyama

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 19 - ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ sᴛᴇᴘ .༄

APRIL 7, 2013
7:45 AM
The sky is the same color as the slush-painted ground.

       "I HAVE GUARANTEED THE NEXT STEP."

       Y/N could feel the vibrations of her phone through her uniform skirt's pocket—in which she sewed in—when sitting in 1st Period.  The ringer was off so no one noticed, exactly as she planned in case this happened.  The next thing she executed was asking to use the facilities.

       Now she's sitting in a stall with her phone up to her ear on the lowest volume possible.

       "Make it snappy." she only had five minutes total to get to the restroom, do her business, and return.  There was no time to spare.

       "Break up with him."

       Adrenaline was flooding throughout her body.  The ground was spinning.  Processing information was at a low.  Break up with who?  "What do you mean?"

       "Rantaro.  You need to break up with him."

       "Future, you can't be serious—"

       BEEP.

       ...

       What?

       What did Future mean by breaking up with Honcho—why and how is any of this connected to dumping him? Why didn't she just let them not get together at all if the relationship wasn't going to last? Was it just a waste of time?

       Y/N squeezed her eyes shut, then her eyelids flew open twice as fast. There wasn't time to be thinking about that. She needed to get to class before the teacher sent someone to go look for her—god knows the last time that happened was a whole crowd-gathering scene.

       'Future, you better know what you're doing or I swear I'll come to the future and strangle you.'

       Lunch rolled around and Y/N ate on a bench outdoors. The trees and typical sound of wonderful nature hushed the private conversation she resumed on the phone.

       "As I was saying, break up with Honcho."

       "Why?"

       "...are you away from people? Move to a more secluded area."

       Y/N looked up from her phone, eyes doing a quick scan of the region she sat in. Some people were chatting and occupying benches in front of her. Y/N chose to walk to the roof.

       It only took a few minutes.

       "Are you away now?"

       "Yeah," Y/N stared at the clouds above her. Despite being substantially off the ground, the sky still seemed it would never touch the ground. "Now what is it?"

       "We need to hurt Honcho—"

       Y/N made a face. "What the fuck?"

       "You heard me. You need to break up with Honcho as that is the easiest way to hurt him. That's our next step."

       "I'm not doing that."

       "You will do that, Y/N."

       "No I will not—the fuck is wrong with you?!"

       "Wrong with me?—this is all in the past for me. I'm doing a favor for you, sweetheart. You'll thank me goddamn later."

"Why didn't you just not let me meet him then?!" Y/N's face grows more twitchy with every passing moment. The decisive decision to slam her phone into the wall was on the edge of being put into reckless action. "That could have spared us both the heartache!"

"You think I didn't try?!" the voice on the other end of the line met her emotions with equally destructive frustration. "When you both first met in that scenario, he jumped in front of a damn bus to save you and got himself killed!"

"...For a stranger?"

"Yes for a stranger! He has a heart made of pure fucking gold. Why do you think I keep trying to find a way to not turn him into a damn bloody carcass in every timeline I connect to?!"

"But I love him—" Y/N trailed off, fingers combing through her hair as her feet paced around the apartment. "—you love him!"

"That's why I'm doing this, Y/N." Future's voice grew low swifter than its volume raised. "Love is not a feeling of happiness, it's the willingness to sacrifice."

Y/N bit her lip. Blood seeped from the open wound. "...what do you plan to do next?"

"I need him to hate you. I need him to feel repulsed, disgusted by you. I need him to not contact you again. I want you to be erased from his subconscious. Then he won't die, at least in a way that won't be caused by us. It'll buy more time."

Y/N slid her pinky finger around her waterline in an attempt to remove the tears still making their way down. Her next words were fatal. "...fine, tell me what to do."

       She hung up the phone for the second time that day.

       First, it was to answer Future.  Second, it was to break Honcho's heart.

       There was dreadful hopelessness buried within her.  She could never love another again.  How could she?  The guilt was too much for one to bear—killing the only one in the world who truly loved you.  All for some elaborate plan her future self—her "Future Self"—came up with and wouldn't even tell her the reason why.

       She could be doing this for noting.  All for nothing.  Her efforts could be in vain.  The heartbreak wouldn't even have to occur.

       Think about that.

       Y/N is an idiot.

———