The A Team // NH

3.0

“Light’s gone, days end.” 

After that he hadn’t seen her for a month, and between that month Niall has become a shittier person, or at least that’s what he thought. He yelled at everyone bothering him which was weird, because Niall was extremely delicate towards other people. 

He hadn’t seen her and maybe that’s what was bothering him, that was what was ringing in the back of his mind. He hated it it, it was the worst feeling. Missing her. 

It will always be. 

He was mad at himself, or at her, he didn’t know. He was mostly mad at himself because ‘is it really that hard to walk to that stupid mall?’  And he was mad at her because she wasn’t turning up at uni. He felt blinded, or lost. Then again, he didn’t know. 

It was again at 3am that he tip toed out of his house, he needed her or he ached for her. He didn’t know, he was more than frustrated with himself. He walked there and the city lights barely illuminated, you could see the London eye but everything else looked plain to him. There were barely any people on the street, it felt empty. And again it seemed like he hated all kinds of feelings. 

He finally got to the corner, but she wasn’t there. He decided to walk right in front of the mall where the curve of the building was and she was still nowhere to be found. The cafe blue tables for sure were not working at 3am, so he decided to check the bathrooms. At that moment he realized he was being ridiculous. 

But there was just something he needed. He needed to see her stupid green eyes and her weird looking wired shirts, pants that are half ripped, shoes that practically have no soles. So he walked into the girls bathroom, trying to have some dignity left in him which was practically impossible. 

There she was, but he swore that was the worst day of his life. That was the day he found out what was the cause to most of her feelings, why she was so broken. It might not be the cause, but it was sure encouraging it.

“Niall?” She asked in a shaky voice, Niall hated that shaky feeling of her voice. He stood there unable to move, he stared at her so much he felt as if his eyes were going to burst. He didn’t even dare to blink. 

She then wiped her nose and washed her hands, cleaned up the counter a little before walking in front of Niall. 

“This is why you’re never hungry.” Niall whispered, she almost didn’t catch it but she did and gave a soft nod. 

“Niall...” She breathed out, and Niall just simply furrowed his eyebrows. He shouldn’t be caring this much he thought. 

“How do you even have money for that?” He asked, occasionally biting his lip because he felt as if he was going to panic right there in front of her. 

“I don’t, I um, I have like this deal with someone and,” She gulped finding it hard to get the words out, “And he gives some to me.” 

“Oh, a deal.” He muttered. 

“Look you weren’t supposed to find out.” 

“Of course not, we don’t know each other Scarlette. And you know what, we never will.” After he said that, he left, slammed the door and ran like a scared child back home. 

He cared a lot, and back then he thought it was just because she’s a human being, not because of feelings. No one likes to see someone else suffer. She was hurting herself and Niall hated it. 

‘Human beings should be smarter’ he thought, not ruining themselves like they are made of clay. 

The image of the white powder on her nose, and small flakes of it on the counter stuck with him for a long time. He sometimes still sees it now. 

But like all days, they end.