Chapter 16: Deep Desires

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Jung Sook gazed down at the sword in her hand. And recalled the night that Soo Ho had given it to her. It had been her seventh lesson. He had appeared in their field an hour before sunset. Earth's vault had been a brilliant blue that night. Dotted with wisps of velvet clouds. She'd heard a bird singing its pretty song as he stepped into the field to find her sitting in the grass. Twirling a blade of it between her thumb and forefinger.

She'd glanced up at him as a bright smile had lit both of their faces.

"I've brought you something special," he'd murmured as he withdrew the sword from its scabbard.

She suspected that he had had it made especially for her. It was lightweight, and she could control it easily. But most of all, it was stunningly beautiful. The hilt had been engraved with lovely scrollwork. And a lotus bloom.

"For a very special blossom," he'd whispered as she ran her finger over that tiny flower.

She'd glanced up into his eyes as she'd felt something else blossoming within her. A rare heat that had flooded her being with a sense of wellness. That odd warmth had seemed to float on the air between them too. As she lost herself momentarily in that obsidian gaze.

Tonight, as she examined that ivory bloom, a tear trickled down her cheek.

He had been kinder to her than anyone in the entirety of her life. Except for Lady Ae Ji. To whom she owed so much.

How could Jung Sook have repaid Soo Ho's kindness with a lie?

––

He had busied himself all day. With hwarang training. He'd even challenged Ban Ryu to some additional swordplay. After a frustrating half hour, as Soo Ho was leaning against a wall, Ban Ryu finally confronted him.

"What's eating you?"

Soo Ho let out a helpless sigh. "It's Jung Sook. She lied to me last night. And I don't really understand why. We were having a great time. Fencing. Chatting. Laughing together. And then she suddenly shut down."

Ban Ryu studied him for a moment. "You really like this girl. I've never seen you like this before." He furrowed his dark brow. "Did something happen right before she shut down?"

"What do you mean?" Soo Ho frowned.

"Did she say anything out of the ordinary? Or did you?" Ban Ryu pierced him with his midnight gaze.

"She grudgingly admitted that I'm her best friend."

"Ah." Ban Ryu clapped his hand on Soo Ho's shoulder. "You're getting to the girl. You better tread carefully. It sounds like you're getting a little too close for comfort. She's likely to run in the other direction if you don't play this just right."

A deep ravine cut itself between Soo Ho's eyebrows. "How do you know that?"

"Because that's what I would do if I were her."

Soo Ho gazed quizzically at his friend.

"Look," Ban Ryu explained, "she's clearly leery of men for some reason. Getting close to you is probably scaring her."

Soo Ho glanced down at himself. "Am I really that terrifying?"

Ban Ryu cocked a raven eyebrow. "Apparently. To her anyway."

"I just don't get it."

"A soft touch. That's what see needs."

"When did you become so wise when it comes to women?" Soo Ho eyed him dubiously.

"I have no idea," Ban Ryu murmured. "I honestly don't understand what your sister sees in me."

"Are you kidding me?" Soo Ho slung his arm around his friend's shoulder and hugged him close.

Embarrassing Ban Ryu to no end. The only person whom he enjoyed touching him was Soo Yeon. He grinned as he thought of her. She could touch him all she wanted. He would never put up a fight.

But the same could not be said for her brother. Ban Ryu knocked his arm off his shoulder and walked away.

"Come on, Ban Ryu. You're a great guy!" Soo Ho hollered after his departing friend.

"But I'm not," Ban Ryu muttered under his breath.

He just couldn't seem to convince the Kims of that fact.

––

That night, Jung Sook stared up at midnight's velvet vault, littered with shining stars. And wished that she could ride one into a brighter day. Where doubts did not assail her. And fears didn't overwhelm her. She had once hoped to embrace a place of contentment. Alone. After her husband died. And her father passed. She had believed that in solitude she would finally find that for which her soul had been searching.

And she had.

And she hadn't.

Once, she had longed for peace. But having achieved a simple serenity, she now craved something more. And she knew what it was. She desired a companion.

She was lonely.

But she was never lonesome when she was with Soo Ho. He occupied her heart and mind fully. He challenged her. And entertained her. He made her laugh. That might just be his most precious quality.

No one had ever made her laugh before. Or unearthed her own sense of humor. But Soo Ho had managed both somehow.

She faced a new truth. She didn't just desire a friend. She needed one.

She needed someone to draw out all her best qualities. While forgiving her worst.

She'd once believed that serene isolation would satisfy her. And it had. For a while.

She'd spent the past two years of her life truly alone. And safe. For the first time in her life. And she had relished that newfound peace.

But with the introduction of Soo Ho into her life, she had discovered things about herself that had heretofore remained hidden. Under the fears of a tiny, defenseless girl.

She had uncovered a surprising desire. One she had long ago buried. Because she had known that it would never be fulfilled.

Yet that desire had remained and, apparently, flourished beneath the rich soil of her heart....

To be loved. To be surrounded by the warm presence of someone else. To share his breath. And to hear his heartbeat. And to feel cherished.

Just as she was.

To know that she was...enough.

The Innocent: A Sequel to Hwarang: The Saga of the Sooks Book #3Where stories live. Discover now