Chapter 5

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Stirring the sauce I hear a knock at the door so I quickly open the door and see no one. Weird..I swear I heard someone knock. Looking down the hall I see the stuff on the door step. I grab the Teddy and bag seeing a card too I realise it's Liam's handwriting. I rush to the sofa and hold it to my chest. I knew you still cared. I start to open the card and a letter falls out to. I quickly scan the card smiling. He's so sweet my king.
I place the card on the coffee table and open the letter.

Hello baby.
I can't believe you've had a baby. I'm so happy for you, God knows how your feeling but I hope it's good happy emotions. You'll be an amazing mum never doubt yourself beautiful. You can do anything you want to being a mum is apart of that too.
This moving on is really hard but I'm trying. She tells me she loves me but all I can think about is you. I'm struggling to get over you baby. I hope I can love someone one day. I just know that I'll never replace you, you'll only ever be the girl I'm inlove with. I understand why you found it so hard but now look at you, happy baby. That's all I ever wanted for you so now I can leave you and never look back myself. I can do this!
You'll always be my Stacey Johnson
Always and Forever yours Liam XXXXX

I stare at the letter with teary eyes wishing that I told him I'm not happy, nor will I ever be without him.
What am I going to do? Suddenly Mya wakes with a scream and I know she wants feeding. I put the letter down and make my way to Mya and pick her up and grab the bottle that should be cooled now.
Popping off the lid I feed her and turn off the sauce that's bubbling. Walking around turning off the appliances and sit down with my baby to feed her. Looking at the bag wondering what's inside it I pull it out by the coat hanger and see a cute little outfit. It's adorable and I love it even more the fact that Liam went out of his way to do all this. And where's Victor? Still won't see her..

Putting her down back to sleep in her moses basket I plate up my dinner and take it to the table to eat on my fucking own. Pushing my plate to the side not hungry now, I go get my notepad and pen and decide to write out my thoughts in a letter back to Liam. Knowing I'll never send it but feeling better after.

Please baby come back to me.
I have no one but you and my baby. I lied to you in the hospital when I told you Victor was there. He never showed up. Still hasn't either. I miss you so much baby I need you..
I feel like I'm going crazy thinking I've seen you and you never came back to me. You fucking promised me you would come back to me and you haven't. I must be a fool to still love you but I can't help it. I will always be yours and I'm determined for that to still happen. I don't want you to move on because I am selfish. I want you baby please come back. This is all fucked up. Stop putting me fucking first and do what you want. Take me like you want to. I know I have Mya now - that's what I've called her. But nothing has to change Liam. Nothing has changed for me. I still love you like I always have. I miss you baby.
You don't deserve me or my love Liam. But it is what it is. My heart belongs to you. I miss talking and seeing your handsome face and I've had nothing.. I was by your side for so long and now its like you don't give a fuck about how I feel. I gave my heart to you and you threw it back at me. I wanna call you but we aren't even friends.. I fucking love you Liam Johnson..
Yours Always and Forever Stacey Johnson XXXXX

I wipe my eyes repetitively as the tears won't stop flowing and fold the letter up putting it into my notepad and holding my head against the table. All I want is to be happy yet I have Liam on one hand that assumes I am with a man well boy who won't believe Mya's his on the other. Why is this happening to me. Everything's so fucked up and I don't know what to do?

Throwing my food into the bin after picking at it for sometime I put away the pen and pad and just sit down and stare at my beautiful baby girl. How did she come out of all of this madness what is my life? Turning my head as I hear my phone ping I get up and read the text.

Victor: I'm sorry I haven't been around got stuff going on. Hope your both good.

I stare at my phone and see it's 9pm. I had her yesterday. Is he for fucking real.

Stacey: She's here safe and sound.

I click off his and read the text from Sian

Sian: Hope your both doing OK, I'm dying to see her again babe, let me know Xx

Stacey: We're doing good babe thanku, Liam left some things.. Long story. Come around when you can Xx

Hitting send I smile knowing she will bring either the twins or Leyton with her. I miss them all.
Clicking back on Victor's thread I see his last message.

Victor: OK good, see you around

Is he fucking serious.. See me around. I've just had his daughter and he's acting like it's nothing. Was this his plan all along. He wanted to ruin me for Liam. And it worked. Fuck!

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