bo burnhamxreader (for BURNHAM CULT)

BOnanas

authors note

bo isallergic to bannas

You pushed open the door of the Starbucks and walked into the line, deciding yre going to order the least popular item on the menu,a vanilla bean frappe. It wasn't your fault you were born so indie! Anyways, so you walked up to the the cashier and he asked you what your order was. O...M....GEE!

Was he flirting with you? You smiled at him and flipped your wavy hair behind your shoulders and said "One vanilla bean frappe, " Yo0u lookedat his nametag and saw the name "Robert" written neatly on it."Robert." You put extra emphasis on it and winked.

Robert gave you a look which you swore was flirting and he quietly said, "4.15. CouldI get a name for the order?" You pushed your card into the machine and waited for the beep and walked off to wait for your order. "Y/n." You smiled

After about 5 minutes, your order was finally ready. You knew this because you heard Robert yell, "One vanilla bean frappe for Y/n!" He was so in love with you you thought to yourserlf.
You went up to himand 'accidentally" brushed your fingertips against his with a dainty petite little "oopsie daisies!" you hee-heed.

"We should go out sometime!" You said sexily before going to sip your drink, mainting eye contact with him. As you two looked at each other, your tongue awkardly searched for the straw. It caused the straw to go in a circle a few times but you knew you still looked very sexy doing that.

Robert raised his brows and had some weird lookon his face, "Um...Sure..." He said before turning around and going to the back. yOU STAYED THERE. WAITING.

hE CAME BACK AFTER ABOUT TEN MINUTES AND WENT DIRECTLY TO THE CASH REGISTER AND COMPLETELY ignored you.

he will pay for this you thought to yourself.

You swiftly turned on your heels and stomped out of the store, but not before tossing your half drank drink at robert's head. "Stupid assshole!"

You sat outsuide the cafe. Waiting once again. So much waiting. Waiting waiting waiting. the waiting game. Being patient for long periods of time. Quite abit of waiting. Sittin'. Standin'. Preying.

The not-so-friendly-giant walked out of the cafe, not seeing you hiding in the bushes.
You had a banaa in your hand and tossed it at robert's head witha loud "ehHHUEH!"
Bo turned at the noise just to meet it headon with his forehead!

OH no!

Bo fell over and weeped in pain like a little dumpster baby.

You walked over to him and picked up the bana and beat him with it. He looked up at you and cried for mercy, his large blue orbs glistening through the banana.

"Please. Please dont kill me! I'm allergic to bananaas!" He sobbed, snot coming out of his nose like the little child he was. He was disgusting and crusty. You could tell some of that drink from earlier was still in his brown lucious greasy locks. "What will my fans say if they see, "Bo Burnham: Death by banans!" " he pleaded,

"Come on! i have 2 netflix specials out! You can't just kill me! I am so rich!" He spoke like a valley gurl. You had enough of his complaining and pulled another banana out from behind you rear. You opened it and shoved it up his nose.

Then he suffocated. And died.

Then i ate my bananas

cant let em go to waste1!

right?!

a/n:

burnham cult this is all yourfucking fault this brain monstrosity existss.