before you start - the name of the person in this chapter is Kailee
TW - SELF HARM MENTIONS AND DETAIL
BANG! There I was horrified as I gasp for air. 'Oh another nightmare.. what's wrong with me?' I think. Slowly walking out I see shadows, hallucinations. 'What time is it?' . 11pm on the dot. 'Wow that's great 1 hour of sleep and it's a nightmare!' . The days progressively got worse and worse . It was sadness but I wasn't sad. I was numb and had no feeling. 'Cheer up Kailee!' My mum said , 'let's get some boba , I know you love it!'. 'Sure.' I saw trying to fake happiness as best as I could. We walk in the shop, it was all a blur, noises getting louder around me. My heart was racing... but why was it? I get dizzy and try to calm myself down . 'Kailee?! Are you okay you are so pale!' My mum says all the sudden lightly pushing my shoulders. I snapped back into reality. 'Yes, just a little sick I guess?' I replied. ' Oh okay, well I got the boba. Let's go home you need rest!'. I nod and get in the car. 'What was that about? Am I okay. I'm so numb.' My thoughts were racing. Later that night I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to die, suicide. I grab pills. But then my mum walks in. 'KAILEE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?' she yells in shock and fear. 'M-Mum?' I reply , 'Nothing..'. She gives me a strange look and grabs the pills off of me. 'If you need to talk, I'm here and will support you! LGBTQ+ is okay, depression is okay, anything is okay to tell me if you need support!' . 'O-Okay mum, I will talk to you tomorrow it's late.' She nods and leaves the room. I cry for the rest of the night. In the morning I was so numb, my eyes and face puffy and sore from crying. Mum has already gone to work. (Tw* self harm) I grab a blade and slice it across my arm. I was satisfied. No more pain filled me. 'wow.. that could work!'. I cover the cut on my arm with a bandaid. 'How do I make an excuse for this..'
