Sincere Heart

Forbidden Lust

Manaal

i knew what i was feeling was wrong. i shouldnt feel this way towards this brother. it was forbidden in islam and i knew it. i cant say i loved him, no i just liked him. i would sometimes catch myself thinking about him and how it would be.. what? manal? seriously? pull yourself together woman!

I sat in the farthest corner of library with my books waiting for sultana to get me that coffee i've been needing since this morning. my eyes were slowly closing when brother Hassan, the iSoc vice president said his salaam.

"asalaam alaikom manaal"

"wa alaykom salaam Hassan, how are you?"

"alhamdulilah sis, just been revising and that. what about yourself?"

"alhamdulilah im good also, and yeah tell me about it. exams! what brings you here, to the furthest corner in the library"

he chuckled, "its scary how you see right through me manal"

i laughed, i really had no idea of what he was talking about.

"so whats up"

he blushed and kinda looked under stress "i just wanted to ask if..."

Sultana came from out of nowhere, "2 spoons of coffee, 3 spoons of sugar, no milk just the way you like it" she said  

"ahh that is awesome sis, thanks"

"no problem and hey, asalaam alaikom bro, whats good? we dont have a iSoc meeting today have we?, istaqfirullah we forgot again, oh my dear Allah"

"wa alaykom salaam sultana, alhamdulilah im good, and yourself? and no we dont today ahaha

"ahha calm down, we dont! do you think i'll forget again, forget brother hassan, brother harith's will fry us" 

"ahaha thats true, alhamdulilah im good too! i heard brother Harith is getting married to sister hiba from the Qabeelah, speaking of which, we have a meeting tomorrow, the course 'Fiqh of Love' is starting this weekend and its a double weekend seminar!" she looked shocked

"yeah i was just about gonna remind you about that, its tomorrow at 9 at brother harith's house, inshaAllah and hopefully his mom will make those lovely pakora's again!" he said trying not to look directly at either of us. i just love his akhlaaq (good ettiquetes) and manners of speech. i stared at him for a while, alhamdulilah sultana replied, i forgot what i was doing!

"yeah inshaAllah we'll be there on time and yes! i hope she does.. they are mouthwatering!"

he chuckled. omg his chuckle is so sexy i thought! "inshaAllah, alright my sisters, i'll see you at the meeting tomorrow, take care of yourselfs. salaam" "you too, wasallaam" we replied

As he walked away, i turned to stare at him. oh my lord, he has style! out of nowhere sultana hissed "what in the world was that about?" 

"what?" i looked at her inocently, perfectly knowing what i did wrong

"you were literally all over him, lucky for you he had his eyes fixed on our surroundings"

Astaqfirullah manal whats going on i thought. This is madness! Sultana sensed my remorse, my guilt and didnt continue. 

"come on lets focus on this now, Bismillah" (in the name of Allah) she said

share. its alll halal! :D