pretty boy

new start

I just got the news that i will be going to school. I don't know weather i should be happy or sad, but i think i'm a bit happy. I hate that the reason for this is my mother being ill, but i will get to go to normal school like a normal person. Tommorow is the day that i start. I decide that there is no stopping it so i should be happy and just go with the flow. Though i will come to visit my mom after school.

It's now the day of my first real school day. I'm so happy and nervous at the same time. Emotions are overflowing me, and i can't seem to calm down. For the first day i'm going to try and look my best. First i take a quick shower. Once i'm done i dry off and put on my favorite outfit; an oversized black sweatshirt with grey coming from the ends of the sleeves and hood, black skinny jeans, red converse, and a beige bracelet i got from my moms when i was 12. I then brush my teeth and rush down stairs stumbling at the bottom step, but catch myself.

I'm shaking with exitment and can barley eat. I had bread and water, then i was out. I don't live in a busy area so there wasn't much people around, but as i got closer and closer more people began to show up. Many were staring at me, which made me feel awkward. At some points i would just look at my feet. I was beginning to feel nervous.. what if people don't like me and I have to sit in a corner alone, or worse I get bullied. At this point my heart was beating at the speed of light, but i swallowed it all down and put my head up. I was a almost there so i told myself that i would keep my head up the rest of the way, and I did. I was beginning to notice whenever i walked past a group of girls the begin to whisper to themselves. I coudn't tell if they were being mean or not. It didn't matter anyways.. what did matter is that i would be going somewhere completely new.

As i arrived everyone was staring.. maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. I could feel my heart slowly sinking and my face going red from embarrassment. Had I left my fly down?? Nope. I just slowly walked to the door hoping they would turn their eyes somewhere else, but i was stopped by a small arm. I turned forward whoever it was and saw her smiling. COULD THIS BE MY FIRST FRIEND?? I knew i had to act cool or she'd never talk to me again. Her face was bright red and she started to stumble her words "H-hey I was w-won-wondering.." she started to look down. I was smiling because this was the first time in a while i had talked to someone other than my moms friends. She then ran away and my mouth dropped. Why what did i do. I watched her walk off and then was tapped in the shoulder. I turned around and this time found a group of girls..these people didn't seem to nice, BUT they came to talk so what could go wrong. " Already turn her down" one snickered "that was fast" said another. "W-what, no" i said. The one in front smirked and began to get closer to my face. It didn't look like she was going to hit me, but what was she gonna do. OH NO IS SHE GONNA KISS ME. EWW. She stopped leaving close to no room between our lips. She giggled and said "ur blushing" then ran of with her friends.

I was left there speechless. THAT WAS AMLOST MY FIRST KISS. Then a bell rang which knocked me out of it, and I hurried to class. I couldn't find it at first but eventually made it right before the bell rang. Everyone's eyes were in me " sorry i couldn't find my way around" i said looking down "It's okay now find ur seat". As i sat down next to this jock looking kid everyone's eyes were still on me. I began to fidget with my notebook and class started. Five minutes in i realized i had never even heard of these formulas... i was so lost. Another ten minutes passed and i figured i would just stay after class for extra help. I was tapped in the shoulder and a paper was handed to me. BUTTT the teacher saw and quickly took it. "Shall i read this aloud" i was looking down from embarrassment until i realized the question was directed to me. "I- I don't know" was all i could get out. The teacher opened the letter and had wide eyes. "never mind this". He put it in his pocket but failed miserably as it fell to the floor. I then picked it up with out him noticing and shoved it under my notebook.

When he was at the front of the room i opened the letter and it read " what your number xoxo". I wa sin shock... for one WHO SAYS XOXO, but i did end up writing my number and passing it back. I heard girls giggling and it was being passed back. Soon class was over and i went to the teacher for help. He then explained it all VERY fast and luckily i understood. To be honest i think he was trying to be a smart mouth and not truly answer my question, but i understand just fine.

Every other class was about the same girls giggling, a bunch of staring, and the occasional note. I figured this would die down eventually, because this was probably only happening because i was new.