You Stop the Voices

Chapter One

  I don't want to do this. I thought to myself as I drove up to her house. How can I be this stupid? She doesn't like me. She hates me. I'm not funny. I'm not as good looking as her crush. SHUT UP. I think loudly as I squint my eyes shut.
  I raise my hand to the horn. Before I could honk she walked out of her beat up, old house. "Was wondering when you would show up Ryder." She peered around inside my truck. "Was wondering if you even were going to.." Her voice trailed off. She blushed. I loved when she did that.
  I smiled weakly. "Oh please, just get in." I reached over and opened the door for her. She won't like that. Or did she? I'm awful at this. She hates me.
  She gracefully hopes in. She had on a Sundress with old sandals. Her hair was pulled up in a usual messy bun. Gorgeous. Too good for me. I shook my head. "You okay?" She searches for my eyes as I try to avoid hers.
  "Yeah uh, just a headache." I shake my head. Smooth. I thought quietly.
  "You don't have to go to the dance Ryder..." She meets my eyes. Her eyes are the most beautiful green I've ever seen. I could look into them forever. Focus Ryder. I scowl myself.
  "NO." I say a bit too quickly. "It's uh, fine." She beams at me with a flawless smile.
  "Good, but if you start to feel bad," she glares at me, "you had best tell me. I am your friend after all."
  I feel a sting in my chest at the word "friend". As if she would ever actually like me. Now that's something that is undeniable. I will never be good enough. Have I ever even came close? I attempted to shrug that off. It didn't work.