Don't Judge Me

Chapter 1

Hola people. Here's a Pre-Shindeku fic for y'all. I might make this a multi-chapter or part of a series later on. It was also just an excuse to write Deku having a panic attack...kinda. Hope you like it. Also I sincerely hope not to offend anyone with my portrayal of one. Comments and criticism is appreciated~

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The day was hectic to say the least. Midoriya hadn't been sleeping for the past few weeks and it was really catching up to him. It was because of the dreams and the thoughts. He was sluggish during his daily training with All Might and this caused his mentor to worry but he just plastered on his best reassuring smile and All Might let him off the hook for now. Then throughout all his lessons he couldn't focus due of the lack of sleep. The fatigue wrapped around his mind like a blanket, unable to open his eyes for more than two minutes at a time. Luckily he didn't get into too much trouble as this was his first offence. Afternoon hero training was alright. He just barely won against Iida. Aizawa reprimanded him afterwards.

This seemed to be the same story today with the lack of rest and since he didn't want to think, he decided to go out for a jog. In his favourite hoodie and workout shorts the green haired boy set off. It was a great feeling, the cool air on his skin, the burning pain that was felt in his joints and in his chest was exhilarating. The campus looked peaceful at this time of day. The gentle moonlight that touched the surrounding buildings and the greenery. As scenic as the grounds looked in the day Midoriya preferred the night time. No matter how he ran trying to block out the day's event one was pounding at the back of his skull. It was a looming presence he couldn't escape.
After 30 minutes Midoriya decided to stop. Luckily it was Saturday morning, around 1am maybe and he didn't need to be a functioning person of society later on. He didn't wish to return to his claustrophobic room so he sat outside on the veranda to stargaze. Looking up at the inky black canvas usually calmed the green haired boy down but today wasn't the case. Things were just piling up inside of him and the dam wall just broke. Bakugou, Middle school, the entrance exam, Shie Hassakai, Nighteye's death, the War. It was just a lot. Recently though the one thing that caused him distress was one of his close friends, Todoroki.

Honestly, it was a bit weird at first. Midoriya had begun to see him in a different light. A simple look from the bi-coloured boy made his stomach do flips and a touch sent a shiver up his spine. Lord forbid a smile which was practically a rarity from the boy practically had him K.O-ed. He honestly never expected to fall for him, it just sort of...happened. The thing is Midoriya is a dreamer. So to say he got high hopes that Todoroki might like him back he couldn't help it wasn't his fault.

It was around 8 o'clock when they were gathered in the common room, playing games and telling jokes. Everyone who was still awake was having a grand old time. Midoriya leaned over to tell a joke to Todoroki when he froze mid-way. There he was his gaze was completely transfixed on Yaoyoruzu. He looked absolutely smitten. It just hit Midoriya in the gut like a punch.
"Hey Todoroki. I think I'm gonna turn in for the night. I suddenly feel tired. Night." Midoriya said with a weak smile.
"Night Midoriya sleep well." Todoroki said as he stood to go hang out with Kaminari and Kirishima. They were playing Mario Kart.

Midoriya had tried to do stuff to distract himself; scroll social media, reading manga, update his hero notes but none of it worked. And that's how he ended up where he is now. Now alone staring at the night sky with nothing but his thoughts it just all caught up to him. Big, fat tears rolled down the green haired boy's cheeks. His nose runny and eyes puffy he silently cried to himself.

"Hey are you alright?" Someone asked. Startled the freckled boy looked up. His eyes were blurry from the tears. In the darkness all he could make out was purple?
"Oh, it's just the Golden Child." Oh it was Shinsou. The thing is Midoriya really adored Shinsou. He found him interesting. Not just his quirk but him as a person. His passions, his drive, his fears and his motives. Shinsou's attributes reminded Midoriya of himself and he really wanted to be close with him but that wasn't possible. Shinsou seemed to detest him. He honestly thought that after the joint training they had last year they had come to an understanding of sorts but that wasn't the case. He especially thought that with Shinsou joining the hero course they would be on good terms but the purple hair boy would keep his replies short when Midoriya addressed him or all out ignore him.
"Oh hi Shinsou. How are you? What are you doing here at this hour?" Midoriya asked.
"Could say the same for you, pretty boy." Shinsou sneered at him.
"Geez sorry I asked." Midoriya shrunk in on himself even if that was possible.
Shinsou had dark circles under his eyes not like that was unusual and he draped himself in a purple galaxy blanket which looked slightly worn out. His feet adorned the cutest kitten slippers with the cats sticking out their tongues. He slid down next to Midoriya.
"Couldn't sleep. I usually come out here to stargaze but my spot's been taken." He said as he eye-rolled.
"Sorry but can I stay here for a little while longer?"
"Sure but you never answered my question."
"Well, I also couldn't sleep, went for morning jog and ended up here." Midoriya confessed.
"Well, you look like crap. If you don't mind me asking what's up with you?" Shinsou asked.
"I'm alright, promise." He gave Shinsou a sheepish smile.