You Were/Are Still Mine

You Were/Are Still Mine <3

This is my first every story 

Have fun!!!!

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Over the past couple weeks, Teddy and I have been in touch more than we usually are. I mean I really like it cause they are the one person I actually want to talk to. Everyone else is just really boring and I honestly don't want to talk to anyone else. They are my best friends and I couldn't ask for anything better. They just always know how to cheer me up and they honestly can just keep a smile on my face for hours on end. And I really hope I'm the same way for them. I hope that whenever they see my name pop up on their phone that they smile and feel happy knowing that I'm there for them. I'll always be there for them, no matter what happens to us. And I hope that Teddy knows that. I hope that Teddy knows that they can rely on me and I'll never judge or backstab them.

But, recently Teddy hasn't been talking to me as much.

I know it's not anything bad and that we are still on good terms because they keep telling me when we text. It's not a lot but we still keep in touch. But I can't help but worry. "Am I not enough?" "Did Teddy find someone else to talk to and they don't want to be my best friend anymore?" "Did I somehow push them away without knowing it?" The list could go on and on, I just really want to know what has happened between us. I don't know what I would do if I lost Teddy. My entire life revolves around them. But that's bad right? I'm not supposed to want to see and talk to them as much as I do. I can only hope that Teddy would still want to come over this weekend since they come over every weekend. I can only hope that Teddy still sees me as the person they are going to travel the world with when we get older and when we are out of college.

It's starting to get worse, Teddy and I havent talked in 3 days. And to other people that might not be a lot at all, but to me that is like a year. Because we usually talk everyday and mostly all day. I swear I am doing something wrong. I can't help but feel likeI did something wrong. Teddy is kinda acting like I did something bad, but whenever I text them about it. They just say "no you didnt do anything wrong I swear". But I feel like they are lying to me. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I texted them too much and now they don't want me to text them anymore. Or they found a new best friend and they are just trying to tell me in the nicest way? It doesn't really feel nice though. It kinda feels like someone just plunged a knife through my heart. But Teddy is just my friend so I can't really say anything about it.

We haven't talked in 2 weeks. This is nothing like how we usually are. Something is definitely wrong, I can feel it now. I saw a post on Teddy's instagram with another person and they were calling them "bestie" and "wife". I really feel likeI should say something but I don't want to be overbearing and it seems like Teddy can't have friends. But that's what Teddy used to call me before we stopped texting. God what's wrong with me, it's just Teddy. I shouldn't be this worried but I can't help it, what if they tell me that they don't want to be my friend anymore. I wouldn't be able to handle it. I really wanna have Teddy in my future whether it's a partner or a friend. I just need to have them in my life. I just want them to be happy, and if they are happy with someone else then that's fine. I'll stand from the sidelines and watch from afar. But I still can't help but feel like my life is being ripped from under me. 

We finally texted today after what felt like years. I've never been so happy. All I got sent tho was a ling text, like a whole ass paragraph.

"Hey Ciel it's been a while hasn't it? I don't know why we haven't texted, I guess it just slipped my mind I guess. I shouldn't say that though, right? Because we're best friends. Can I come over? I feel like I need to explain myself and I can't do that over text. It's just too much to text and I've got to do it in person for my conscience. I'm not gonna stop being friends with you if that is what you think. I still want to travel the world with you and have you in my future. I know I've been acting weird so that's why I wanna come over. Do you think your dad will allow it?"