Try Guys One Shots (mostly Zagene)

I Have Chronic Pain (angst, slight Zagene)

I have chronic pain. It started when I was about, well, for as long as I can remember I suppose. I just hurt. All the time.

I can't lay on the ground or straight in my bed because my spine is so fucked. I've been going in and out of doctors offices, different referral after different referral, but no one seems to get it. It's not fucking scoliosis.

I know scoliosis wrecks people and I know it's bad but I also know what I have is much, much worse.

Deep breathing even hurts. Everytime I take a deep breath I feel like I'm going to fall apart.

But still, my doctors don't seem to believe me. And that really fucking sucks.

Usually Eugene goes with me to my doctor appointments, holds my hand and comforts me since we both know I'll be denied and referred to someone else, again.

But today, today's different. I asked him to stay at work, why? Well, today I'm not leaving until I get a different outcome.

I enter the doctors office once again. All hospitals smell the same. Sterile, clean, and they have a odd fresh carpet smell all the time.

As I'm in the waiting room I'm texting the try guys group chat.

"I have a good feeling about today, I feel like I'm going to get a straight answer."

Eugene: "Straight? Didn't know you knew that word love."

Ned: "👍🏻 good luck buddy!"

Keith: "I hope so."

"Zachary Kornfeld?" I cringe at the 'Zachary'

"Zach, please." I say as I walk towards the doctor. My back already stiff from just sitting for 30 minutes.

Once we get into the room she gives the typical x-Ray scan a look, nods, smiles "Oh! This is scolio-"

"NO. NO ITS FUCKING NOT. AND IM SO TIRED OF HEARING THAT GOD DAMN ANSWER. SLEEPING HURTS. EATING HURTS. BREATHING HURTS. EVRYTHING FUCKING HURTS..."

I whisper the next part

"living... living hurts."

I begin to tear up, "please. Please just.... don't... don't write it off as scoliosis, I'm tired of getting the same treatment everywhere I go. What I have, it's not scoliosis."

The doctor looks a bit frightened at my outburst, I can't even feel bad. I'm in so much god damn pain.

What if it's all in my head? What if this is just my minds way of torturing me? What if I'm really fine?

Suddenly I hear snapping.

"Zach, Zach, hello? Zachar-"

"Yeah. Yeah yeah. Sorry. I just. I need help." I sigh, looking her dead in the eye.

She frowns a bit, holding her chin in her hand and staring at me, hard. Then at the x-Ray.

"Ok Zacha- Zach. Their isn't much I can do here. But I can refer you to a Orthopaedic, they can give you an mri scan. It's pricey and takes a long time but if your willi-"

"Yes." I cut her off. "Yes I'm willing"

I feel a heavy weight being lifted off my chest, I can finally have a answer.

She gives me the number to the Orthopaedic doctor and sends me on my way, I leave feeling slightly less weight on my heart, I can finally get a answer.

But what if it's nothing? What if I'm fine, actually? What if I'm making this whole thing up in my mind? What if my pain... isn't real?

*skip to the meeting with the orthopedic doctor*