I tightened the rope. My heart was pounding so fast in my chest I could hardly breathe already. I hung the rope from on top of my closet door and made sure it was absolutely secure, I didn't want it falling off after I jumped off the chair, because I knew if it did I'd loose my nerve completely. Sweat lined my forehead, almost broadcasting how nervous I was to an audience that wasn't even there. Oh shit...was I really going to do this?
I tightened the rope more and wrapped the noose stiffly around my neck. It gently rubbed against my skin and made the hair all over my body stand on end. I had to keep constantly reminding my self; I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this...I stepped on to the chair and looked down. I knew the floor was only a few inches away but as I looked down at it now, it looked as if it was miles away from my feet. I gulped and inhaled deeply. I felt my foot swaying off the side of the chair. I have to do this! Before I loose my nerve!
I heard someone call out my name and scream. The chair under me suddenly disappeared beneath my feet, and I fell. I went down and suddenly yanked back up almost like a bungee cord, the pain in my neck came immensely. I lost my breath and struggled to breathe. My hands flew instantly to my throat and clawed at it desperately trying to free my neck. I don't want to die...I suddenly realized, as I hung there and thought about my friends, my family, and my boyfriend...Wasn't that who screamed? My eye sight finally failed me and my world went dark.
I blinked. I'm alive? I looked slowly around at the surrounding white room, I wondered; Am I dead? Is this heaven? I leaned up cautiously and my body stopped. I'm tied down...so is this hell?
"Drayna?" I looked up. My boyfriend Gabriel stared down at me, his beautiful seaweed green eyes shown down at me with worry and despair. "Drayna...why?"
I opened my mouth to speak and my throat swelled closed.
"You could have told me..." he whispered. My heart throbbed with pain as I looked up at his eyes filling with tears. I wanted desperately to reach up and wipe them away, I wanted to take it back, I wanted to go back in time and scream at myself for even thinking of hanging up the noose. He cleared his throat and straightened up. With tears rolling down his cheeks he told me;
"They're going to take you to a special hospital...to get better..." He whispered. Translation: They think you're fucking crazy and they are sending you to an asylum. Have fun with the choice you've made you stupid bitch.
"G-g-Gabriel I..." My mouth was left hanging open; waiting for my brain to give it the words to say, but nothing came out. I gulped and I felt my eyes swell up with tears that burned my face as they slid down my cheeks.
"I'm going to, uh, be staying in an apartment near by there." Wait...What? I was stunned. He was going to stay with me? Why? "I know, I haven't been paying much attention to you since semester exams started so... I guess that's why..." his voice trailed off and horror struck my face.
"No! You didn't cause any of this! I did, don't blame you're self!" I cried with my voice trembling. He stared down at me for a moment. "I have no excuses," I said at last. "I made this choice, I may regret it now, but don't ever think it was your fault..." I told him. And it was true. I did cause this my self, but that's the past, my choice was made, and now I'm paying for it. But even though I knew that convincing the doctors that I was fine once I got to the asylum was going to be tough, as long as I had Gabriel waiting for me, I could take any punishment, even death.
