Finding love and lust (a Zachary Levi short story)

The trouble with men

*Blake*
I hurry down the street loving and hating the Atlanta summer heat at the same time. On days like this I kinda wish I could wear a bikini.. but I also know that if I did I would possibly cause cars to crash.

And before someone thinks that sounds .. a little full of myself.. believe me I hate this.. I hate the catcalls and wolf whistles, I hate the comments, the messages online.. I hate that men act strange in my company, and women too, when they are not scolding me because their men are looking at me.. I honestly would prefer to be ordinary.

I feel eyes on me as I move, I am trying not to make people notice me.. to creep along the walls almost. I am wearing a simple white tee and a long skirt with a flower print.. nothing revealing or tight as such.. even though I can't really help that the shirt is a bit snug on my chest, to prevent that I would have to wear one the size of a small tent.

Have I thought about ruining my looks.. yeah.. sometimes I have thought about just eating, and not working out, and becoming fat, in the hopes men would not want me. But firstly working out is my meditation, it makes me healthy both physically and mentally.. and secondly, it would take a lot for me to get fat.. I am never really dieting as it is.

A woman passes by me, sending me a glare for no other reason than she feels threatened by my look. I smile at her, I do not hate her, I feel sorry for her. She is pretty, she has no need to envy me.

Then two men up on a low roof start whistling and calling out for me, trying to get my attention. I ignore them and I hear one of them say. "Stuck up bitch.. that ass needs a good humping".

Part of me wants to cry, but I hold my head high.. I am on my way to see my best friend.. and I do not want to allow them to ruin my day.

As I get near the cafe, some guy catches up to me. "Hi my beautiful".

I try ignoring him, he is a stranger and I have no desire to talk to him. My steps picking up, hoping to get ahead of him.. Maybe it will make him give up.

"Damn girl you are so sexy.. like an Angel if they were super hot". He says, panting along beside me.

"Sorry.. I just want to go meet my friend". I mumble, moving along as fast as I can without seeming panicked. I should be used to this by now, but it never stops making me feel uneasy.

He kinda tries to step in front of me. "Oh stop the games, a girl like you loves the attention.. you are just playing hard to get".

"I am not playing anything.. I just want to be left alone". I say a little more forceful.

"You would have an ass like that if you did not want attention". He is starting to sound annoyed. "Redheads always want it.. horny little things".

I breathe in slowly. "Please leave me alone".

"Come on.. I can pay.. is that it ?" He huffs. "You think you are better than me.. but I have money, I can pay you price".

"You could not pay the price to lick the sole of her shoe". A voice hiss, and I see my best friend Nathan come charging over. "Be gone with you scum".

The man glares at Nathan. "Stay out of this.. I am talking to the lady here".

"But the lady here does not want to talk to you". Nathan has put himself between us, holding up his hand. "I said.. be gone".

  The man huffs angrily, like Nathan is taking something from him. "Like you would know what a lady wants.. faggot".

"Come on Nate, let's ignore him". I say, placing a hand on his arm.

He gently shakes off my arm. "No sweetie, I am so tired of men thinking that because their tiny sausages spring to life when they see you, then they can act like cavemen".

"Do you want a piece of me.. fruit loop ?" The man takes an angry stance.

Nathan just assumes his most feminine demeanor and tone. "Do you want a piece of me, though guy ?" He turns his behind towards him, shaking it. "I heard you like ass.. I got a good one".

"Get away from me.. I am not .. like you". The man steps away. "I want a date with the hot girl".

"Isn't an ass an ass for types like you ?" He shakes his behind again. "Come on.. give me some lovin".

People are starting to look and whisper.. and a few moments later the man shakes his head and stalks away. "Psycho.. fucking psycho".

"Hey we fit Well together then". Nathan calls, then he looks at me. "Are you okay sweetie ?"

"I am fine Nate.. and thanks darling.. you are my hero". I say warmly, offering him my arm.

He takes it with a grin. "Seriously sweetness.. I get that you are beyond gorgeous.. but what is wrong with men ?"

"I honestly don't know". I sigh, as we walk inside. "I am not.. spurring them on.. am I ?"

"Nope sweet cheeks, you are not". He says, leading me to a booth. "Honestly I Think it is sad to see you cover yourself so much and hide away, just because men are idiots".

I sigh again. "I just .. I don't want to deal with it if I can avoid it.. and I do not want to risk.. Well men going too far".

"Men is always going to far with you.. but I get what you are saying". He pads my hand softly. "Cupcakes ?"

"Always my dear.. always cupcakes". I grin at him.

He makes a face. "Some of us have to watch those pesky carbs.. but cupcakes it is".

"Oh stop it.. you are perfect just like you are". I tell him.

He giggles, and covers his mouth coquettishly with one hand. "Oh Thank you darling.. such a waste that I am gay.. had you been a guy I would have dated you".

"And had I not been asexual I might have fancied you". I shoot back.

He disappears to the counter.. he always orders.. I have had one too many male baristas write their number or a crude comment, I used to order when it was a female behind the counter, but after Nathan saw one spit in my cup, Well I let him do it.

Don't get me wrong, I do not think everyone will do that, or even most.. but I do not want to take the chance.

And as I mentioned.. I am asexual.. which make men coming onto me even more, frustrating, because the whole idea of sex makes me very uncomfortable. I am 26 and have never had a serious boyfriend.

I am not a virgin.. I have had all of three experiences with sex.. two with men and one with a woman.. wanting to see if that might work for me..but the last was five years ago.. and all of them were uncomfortable and something I just wanted to get over and done.

So I have long since decided that it is not for me and that it also means that I will be single, forever.. A part of me sometimes think that having someone to share life with could be nice.. but I have never meet anyone I actually want to share it with and also I doubt I could find a man I would want to be with, who would accept that I am not interested in sex.

I also don't have many friends.. all men I have tried to be friends with has ended up coming on to me, and most girls either talk behind my back or simply pull away, saying they feel inferior next to me.. my only close friend is Nathan.. he is gay and therefor not interest in me sexually, which is a relief.

Soon Nathan is back with our drinks and cupcakes. "So... what was it about a new gym ?"

"I found one, it's a bit pricey, but I am almost alone if I go early or late". I say smiling.

I have a degree in nutrition and training, and wanted to be a personal trainer, but reality was that women did not want me as a trainer and the men wanted me too much.. That is how I met Nathan, he was a client. Now I do a bit of fitness modelling, but I do not like the attention and I make diet and work-out plans online.

"Oh that's great sweetie.. again I hate that you have to.. work your way around peoples .. weirdness.. but I am happy you have found a place". He smiles. "Maybe I can join, and go with you when I am off work".

"That would be great.. And I could make sure you do not.. slack off". I grin at him.