Never forget your knife

5 - crimson tears

It's been a week since Elda died. Levi had invited me and the twins to stay with them and I'd readily agreed, Furlan and Isabel were so kind, we've become fast friends. I couldn't go back home, not without Elda. I'd gone back to get what little we owned and left a note for my mother if she returned explaining everything.

Levi gave me and the twins his room, I let the twins have the bed while I slept on a makeshift bed on the floor. It's been nice so far. I'd been keeping myself busy, we had gotten Elda cremated, I keep her ashes by the window sill. Turns out Levi and his friends are assassins, it explains how cleanly he killed that brute that murdered Elda. I've decided to join them and become an assassin. It may not be the most desirable occupation but I have a lot of anger and rage to work through.. so why not kill some people who deserve it. It does mean I'll have to leave the twins alone but I can't baby them forever plus if i make some real money I can finally afford toys food clothes and anything they need.

Today Levi's teaching me how to fight. Fun? Maybe?

No.

I taste the dirt. Again.

"Get up." He says for maybe the fifth time.

"You're fast Raizel. Very fast. But you must always be aware of where I am, keep your eyes on your enemy." He says pulling me back to my feet.

We start sparing again and he kicks my foot out from underneath me. As usual he reaches down to pull me up but instead of me just standing I pull him down into the dirt with me and pin him down on the ground and straddle him.

"Keep your eyes on your enemy." I say smirking and I wink at him, I see his face turn bright red and I feel a hardness against my thigh and now it's my turn to turn bright red. My eyes widen slightly as I fumble to get up as I'm about to get up I slip up and accidentally fall back onto him kneeing him in the groin. He groans loudly and it makes my heart beat faster which makes my cheeks redder, now I'm sure I look like a beetroot. Wow his eyes are really pretty... shit no I need to remove myself from this situation!

I stand up a little straighter than I should. And hold my hand out for him to take. He moans a little and grabs it before standing up and dusting himself off.

"I am so so so sorry" I say trying my hardest not to get flustered while I'm looking everywhere except Levi.

"It's ok. I'm glad you did that." He says

My eyes snap to him as my heart feels like it's about to burst from my chest. Did he just say? No way does he mean that? I mean.. the hardness? I've heard of things like that happening from the women my mother used to work with. I always thought I'd at least get married first. I wouldn't mind getting married to Levi.. what am I saying?! Ive known him for a week! Stupid hormonal teenage brain.

"From a tactical standpoint taking your enemy from surprise was a good thing. If you want to be a good assassin then the whole job relies entirely on the element of surprise." He says while scratching his chin looking like he's in extreme thought.

Of course. Tactically, he means. Stupidly my feelings get hurt a little bit and I have to bite my lip to try and stop the sting in my chest.

"That should be enough for today. Go and take a bath, you smell." My cheeks turn bright red and I look at him glaring through his head.

"That's just rude.." I mumble before stalking off to the bath

"Raizel!" I stop in my tracks and turn to face him.

"Yes?" I ask perhaps too hopefully.

He stops and looks at me as if lost for words, like he was about to say something but he changed his mind.

"You did good." He says blankly.

I give him a small smile before turning around and walking to the bath.

The waters lukewarm but it's better than being at home. I rarely bathed when I lived at home so having a bath like this.. it feels like a true luxury.

I sigh as the warm water soothes me and I drift off to sleep.

That's when it happens. The dream. Actually, the nightmare.

I'm standing in a luscious meadow, it's all I've ever dreamed of, from the picture books I used to steal from the kids that were better off. I can see it now, it's all so clear. The grass is so green and the trees! There's trees a mixture of browns and green, as green as Elda's eyes and the sky it's so blue, like how water is supposed to be and so close I can almost touch it, with clouds as white as the foam on top of the beer you get at taverns. It's wonderful to put it simply. The breeze flows through the trees and it makes me shiver but it feels nice. It's peaceful here. No stress or worries. I turn my head and see a pair of dark grey steely eyes staring back at me. Levi. My saviour.

He looks at me and smiles, a smile that shows pure joy and happiness and on him it's so beautiful, nothing matters right now it's just him and me. He leans in our noses brush each other, I close my eyes and his lips.. it's heavenly..

And then the scene changes.

I open my eyes and the trees are dead. The sky is dark and stormy and where the grass once was there is now a pool of blood as far as the eye can see. No more peace. Only despair, sadness, regret, anger, melancholy.

So

Much

Blood.

Red.

Red.

Red.

It's everywhere.

I look down and my hands are covered in blood. I can see my reflection in the red lake and there's blood so much blood all over me.

I take a step forwards but I trip over something and fall face first into the red lake, I taste metal and it makes me want to vomit. Bile rises in my throat and I start choking and coughing and there's blood coming out from my coughs and now there's blood coming out from everywhere, my eyes my ears my mouth.

I look down and it gets worse. The bodies. There's so many, some I recognise. There's Pax and Taisa.. and Isabel and Furlan, even my mother and Levi poor Levi.. and many more I can't recognise, they're all staring at me with blank eyes devoid of all emotion.

Then I see her. Elda. She comes to me and holds me in her arms while I cry crimson tears.

"Shhh sister, it's alright. You let me die but it's alright, it doesn't hurt anymore. There is no pain here." She says combing her fingers threw my hair just as I did to her lifeless body.

"...no...I... tried.." I manage to cough out.

"Yes. You did. And you'll try again Raizy. More shall die because you tried." She says before she straddles me and pushes me into the bloody water, I'm drowning now, Elda's killing me, perhaps it's revenge for not saving her. I try to move, to speak.. but her grip around my neck tightens.

"Don't struggle, sweet sister, it's time to let go. Just. Let. Go." She smiles but it's not how Elda smiles, it's not sweet like sugar, it's dark and haunting.

"Enjoy the gift... Raizel."

My lungs are on fire and just before i black out I see a pair of steely grey eyes and suddenly I feel at peace again.