Prince of Lies

Chapter 20

Jace,

It's been awhile since I last wrote to you. And I apologize- I know this isn't my handwriting.

Chaol is my scribe for the time being, just like Ilya  reads my letters to you and prevents whatever more intimate thoughts we would usually put down, not that have a lot to say about that anyway. There's not much of me left for you to want.

I haven't been truthful.

My legs are now completely paralyzed.  My hands are rendered useless. I'm getting frustrated telling you this and I'm crying in anger over the fact that I can't feed myself or write my husband a letter.

Maybe you should stay at war forever, Jace. Then you wouldn't come back to my shell of a man.

I don't want to live like this.

I don't want to live at all.

Mama is dead. I'm dying sooner than expected, and Ilya  is there with you.

I can't decide if I want you to stay away and keep your memories of me as I once was, or whether I want you to hurry back and hold me again.

That's all.

Yours, always,

Haruto

Ilya  struggled through the letter, intermittent pauses as he seemed to intrude on Haruto's innermost thoughts.

Haruto , no.

Please hold on.

"Let me see it." Jace demanded, holding out his hand for the letter, even though it would be useless to his troubled eyes. Ilya  referred to his condition as "dyslexia".

Sure enough, upon holding the paper in his hand, he was only able to make out small words and the characters that made up his husband's name, while all the others danced around the page.

"Iseul  is..." Ilya  began.

"Gone." Jace finished.

They looked at each other, the younger man seated on his makeshift bed and the older one leaning heavily on the central post that held up the tent.

"We should tell the king. He needs to see this."

"This will only launch him into a reckless attack."

"We don't have time to think any longer!" Jace jumped up, practically screaming through gritted teeth. "Haruto  doesn't have time! You read his words, Ilya!"

Jace sucked in a breath.

"You once told me when I was younger and Haruto  would get hurt, that once your medic duties were finished, the only thing that mattered was being a father. Well, right now the only thing that matters to me is being a husband!" Jace began aggressively stuffing things into a bag, and then, when he was ready to go, shoved Haruto's letter back against Ilya's chest.

"Take that to the king."

"You don't order me around." Ilya  narrowed his eyes a bit. "I outrank you, now."

"Should have known." Jace scoffed. "Forgive me, prince consort," he performed an over exaggerated, fake bow, "I should hate to be the one to tell the king that his wife is dead and his son may be soon to follow, after all!"

They were too busy arguing, neither of them heard the tent flap open or heard Jerym walk inside.

He stood, paralyzed, at the entrance to the tent.

"What did you just say?" Jerym's voice was so low it was hardly audible. "What did you just call him?"

"Your majesty-" Jace began, but then Ilya  just silently held out Haruto's letter.

The king's eyes widened as he read, and then, when he got to the part about Iseul -

His blue eyes filled with tears.

"Iseul ?" He whispered, looking up as if either Jace or Ilya  could tell him otherwise.

"Jerym," Ilya  tried to step forward, perhaps to comfort Jerym, but the king only shoved him aside as he finished the letter, and his head shot back up.

He saw the bag hanging loosely from Jace's shoulder and seemed to realize what it meant.

"Get going."

"Jerym-" Ilya , again, tried to protest as Jace practically sprinted out of the tent and straight for the horses.

"Get ready to move. Tell Niil  and Zione they have five minutes to come up with a surprise attack to finish this."

"Jerym-"

"Are you going to keep talking back to me? I said, get moving!"

Fine.

I know this isn't really you.

This is grief.

Sure enough, as soon as Ilya  ducked out of the tent, Jerym clutched the same center pole and fell to his knees.

Iseul -

One of his arms wrapped around his stomach, which was now inexplicably painful.

Haruto -

The letter floated to the floor as Jerym's sobs began.

I'm sorry.