"stars, the deepest reflection of our hearts, just a simple connection to who we are"
what started as a dare grew into something much bigger then either of them could have ever imagined
tw// self harm and mentions of/attempted abuse. tread lightly loves, the self harm parts are slightly graphic. you have been warned. (sydney's outfit for the party^)
Sydney Becker
"Sorry I'm late" Sydney panted, completely out of breath. "It's no problem Syd" her teacher, Mr. Gaskowski said with a wink. When he turned around she made eye contact with her best friend Cherry and rolled her eyes, the teacher was known around the school for flirting with his students and making them visibly uncomfortable, unfortunately the principal refused to do anything about it so Sydney just had to sit and deal with it. It's not like she wasn't used to it, it still didn't make it right. No person should ever be made uncomfortable in an environment that's been deemed "safe". She shakes her head and makes her way to her seat.
"Hey bitch how are you?" Cherry says with a smile. Her real name is Cheryl but everyone calls her Cherry due to her red hair and slight obsession with cherries, slight being an extreme under-exaggeration. Sydney smiles back at her "I'm just peachy whore, how are you?" Cherry brings her finger up to flip Sydney off but stops suddenly, Sydney gives her a weird look before gasping, feeling a hand on her shoulder. She flinches before turning around and seeing Mr. Gaskowski with a creepy smile on his face "Hey Syd how are you doing?" She gives him a disgusted look "Get the fuck off of me you creep and don't call me Syd". His eyes turn dark, "I am your teacher Syd you need to treat me with respect " he says, spitting venom with his words. Sydney stands up "Respectfully, go fuck yourself Mr. Gaskowski" she spits, flipping him off and storming out of the room. She's been wanting to do that since the first day of school. God that felt good.
After a few minutes Cherry runs out of the room laughing her ass off. Sydney gives her a look, "What the fuck did you do this time?" Cherry goes on to explain how she got into this huge argument with Mr. G after Sydney left, he had said something along the lines of "she was asking for it" and that was the last straw for her, she kicked him in the balls and ran for dear life. Sydney gives her a look and the two burst out laughing "you" Sydney pauses, out of breath, "you kicked him in the" "the family jewels, the key to his manhood, the thing he uses instead of his brain? hell yeah i did" Cherry interrupts proudly. "Thank you" Sydney says, pulling her into a hug, they only separate when somebody coughs behind them. "Erm you're kind of in front of my locker" he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Sydney turns red from embarrassment "Oh my god I am so sorry, I'm Sydney" she says reaching her hand out with a smile. The boy rolls his eyes "Can you just get the fuck out of my way please?". Sydney nods her head quietly and walks away, Cherry following closely behind.
When the last bell finally rang, Sydney grabbed Cherry's arm and bolted out of the classroom in hopes of avoiding him. She was really not in the mood to deal with his bullshit right now. They made it all the way to Sydney's green VW bug before someone stopped them. "Hey baby" Charles, Sydney's ex boyfriend, said with a smirk "How are you today?" Sydney glares at him "First off? Don't call me 'baby' Second? I broke up with you. Two months ago. And third? I. don't. want. you. back" she says with a sickeningly sweet smile. He glares at her "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sydney scoffs "What's wrong with me? I'm not the one who hit his fucking girlfriend am I?" Charles moves to slap her but she grabs his harm before he can do so "Don't even think about it baby" Sydney mocks him, before getting into her car, motioning for Cherry to do the same. She gives Sydney a reassuring smile but says nothing, which Sydney appreciates.
Cherry and Sydney have been friends for around four years, they met in english class freshman year and have been together ever since. Cherry knows Sydney like the back of her hand and vice versa. She knows Sydney can handle herself in tough situations which is why she stayed quiet during the Charles fiasco and Sydney knows that Cherry can do the same with her issues. Once she's sure that Charles is gone, Cherry gives her a hug and they part ways " See you at the party fuckface" she says, once again flipping Sydney off. Sydney lets out a small laugh before getting into her car. She turns on the radio, some generic song starts playing quietly as she drives. Sydney's never been one for music, she just puts it on to fill the silence, she's pretty sure she has an aux in her car somewhere but never bothered to set it up. It wasn't like she was going to use it so there wasn't a point.
As Sydney pulls up to her house she sees that the driveway is empty. Perfect. Her parents aren't usually home but every once in a while they check in on Sydney to make themselves feel like they're good parents, thankfully it didn't look like today was one of those days. She walks into her bathroom and grabs her razors, not bothering to close the door seeing as she was home alone. She pulls down her pants and begins drawing a map of her pain with the sharp metal blade.
A few cuts in Sydney hears a door creak, her head shoots up and she sees her mom looking at her with an expression Sydney couldn't quite read. Her moms eyes scan the surroundings, fully taking in what she's witnessing. She sighs "Try not the stain the floors please, the cleaners aren't coming until next Monday. I'll add more money to your allowance" She looks her daughter up and down "Clearly you need some retail therapy." Sydney nods her head, once her mom leaves the room she breaks down in tears. After about 20 minutes she wipes her eyes and starts getting ready for a party she is now really regretting planning.
wearing a shark hoodie and listening to novo armor as i'm writing this ;)
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i don't care if you've been clean for a month, a day, or a year. i'm proud of each and every one of you, i know how hard it is to stay clean.
if you felt triggered during this chapter, some information that may help:
text HOME to *crisis line from wherever you are from* to connect with a crisis counselor, they are open 24/7. please don't be afraid to reach out to somebody. your feelings are valid, don't forget that.
