Haven in the Dark

Chapter 1

        At the back of the set, I was sitting nervously as I was waiting for the show to start. I was invited in HUPERA. Hupera is the highest rating show in Engrika. It is aired on RURU CHANNEL 22 for 2 hours and only the most influential people in their field were invited to be the guest.

            Good Evening!! Good Evening to the thousands witnessing our show live and to the million of folks around the world who are now sitting comfortably in their couch. I know you are very excited about our guest for tonight. But before I formally introduce her to you, let me give you little a hint about her. Roll VTR. Litty Hupera finally starts her TV program.

            The video contains picture of my group (Mythical 13), my clothing line, and of course my books.

            I know you have guessed her right, so let me now introduce you to our BEAUTIFUL AND EXTRA TALENTED guest no other than MS. SHANNA MARIE DELA MERCED.

            The audience applauded as I enter the room. Litty gave me a warm hug.

            Hi Litty! Good evening to all of you! It’s so overwhelming to be chosen as your guest for tonight. Thank you so much for putting a space on my name in your show, Litty. I shyly told her.

            I did numerous catwalks in my life and attended hundreds of gatherings. Though it was a little bit scary and terrifying still I can manage to stay calm and put on a show. Unexpectedly tonight I can’t handle myself to be at ease, my heart beats as fast as if it was about to run into a race. I was fisting my hand to prevent it from shaking. I really had a bad feeling about this interview. I wanted to think optimistically but my instinct tells me otherwise.

            The interview started by showing a picture of a plain, chubby, and out-fashioned woman and the other one was a gorgeous, sexy and stylish woman.

            Who was SHANNA MARIE in this picture (1) and in this picture (2)?

            I was looking intently to the picture 1. And an old memory that I kept for years slowly flashed back.

                In my Values Education class we had an activity that tests our interpersonal skills. It let each of one knows if how to develop or improve this skill. We were task to give a letter or a flower to the person we consider inside our class as our friend.

          I gave a flower to my seatmate Leign, she is the only person inside the class who would talk to me. My classmates back then hate to have a friend who had a penny allowance and a shabby look. Although I want to be part of the groupies but they’ll reject me they don’t want a loser to be in their group. Every day I just sit on the side waiting for the teacher to discuss and afterwards went home.

          Everyone inside the class received a letter or a flower except me.

          My teacher asked us to raise the hand of the person who have received a lot of letters or flowers and who did not receive anything.

          Jenny had obtained number of flowers and letter. She had a lot of friend because she was not just pretty, smart but extra rich. Everybody wanted to befriend her, because you’ll get extra popular in the school if she will consider you as her friend.

          I shyly raised my hand; my teacher did not expect that there was someone who would not received anything.

          He politely told me that because I was a transferee from the other section and my classmates was not that close to me that’s why I don’t have anything.

          And he let us answer our journals.

          The bell rang, time for the next subject. After my teacher had left my classmates was whispering something I just ignored it but deep inside I know I was the hot topic.

          During the break my classmates last year approach me and insultingly utter harsh word.

          Who would like to befriend FIONA? Who would like to befriend a pauper? Who would like to be a friend of her?

 Nobody… They left me wit. I could not defend myself because I was alone and they are in group.

                I took deep breath and began to answer.

            This picture contains a pitiful creature who was cursed by above. She was the Shanna Marie who used to be rejected, unlike, and unloved by the people around her. She was a pathetic idiot and absurd loser. She was treated like a person with containable disease and nobody dares to be NEAR her. She tried to move out from her shell just to please others but her actions where futile nobody really seems to notice her existence. She was extremely suffering from depression and inferiority complex. She badly needed someone who will love her unconditionally. Whenever there was someone who cared she becomes submissive and clingy, because of such personality they felt annoyed with her company and eventually left. I smiled bitterly.

           

            I don’t know you personally Shan, but if I had known you during that time I would like to save you from the emotional distress you felt. I can still feel your pain.  I really got curious, there are a lot of kids out there who feel wasted, eventually they were be able to cope up with the help of their family. Shan by any chance, did your family contribute to that pain?

            I startled as the host asked me this question, whether I answer it with a YES or a NO still it would put me into disadvantage. If I say YES, then the world will discover my PAST and if I say No, I will just fool all the people who watch the show.

ON MY MIND

          Our house was big enough for my family; it was bungalow house with relaxing bed rooms, spacious living room and kitchen and fine garden. I and my brother lived a better life compared to the other kids in our town. We cannot afford to live in luxury; at least we can eat 3 meals a day and attend classes regularly. If you will simply look into my family you might think that we are a perfect family, with a happy married couple loving their two children. Sadly, if you would try to dig deeper you would discover a broken people portraying to live a happy life.  We were like a low quality gift covered with an expensive wrapper.

          Family Reunion is on the top of my hate list. Why?  It is where the whole clan would scrutinize your life as if they were dissecting a frog in a science class. My cousins put pride in the family they were damn good-looking and witty smart while I turn down our family name with nothing but shame. During our gatherings they would ask us this question. How are your studies, kids? It was not a question asked to make you feel they care. They would just like to boast the person who had better grades; a simple way to prejudice and embarrass the one who do not perform well in school. My aunts would talk a lot about the school activity their children participated. And my mom could not join because she had nothing to share. It made me sick to hear everything, I wish I would be on the place away from people this people who will and continue hurt me. It made me lost my self-confidence and feel that I am good for nothing. Instead of having a family who would catch you when your grumble and fall, then they would even punch and stab you more until you could not stand on your knees.

Attending this awful event is a biggest reminder to me that I am a trash in the family.

I believe that “Bullying does not start from school, it starts at home were the people you care made you realize that you are nothing. I truly do believe bullying will forever exist.”

            I get back to my senses.

            No of course, I denied. There are things that need to be kept inside myself. My family loves and supports me with everything I do.

            Oh, it was relieving to hear. I know presume that they had really contributed with your success. Who is this woman, now? Pointing to the second picture.