Fight Man {The Adventures Of Fight Man and Big Boba Women}

My Wet Couch - Act I

I sat, solemnly staring at my chosen place of seating. This old, rusty couch just didn't do it for me anymore. I remember the day I bought it - fresh and new. Alas, after countless lonely, lonely, nights, my couch would never be the same.

It's odd: just how much aching there was in my heart...

Even after I've slain: cyclopses, dinosaurs, dragons, beasts out of this realm entirely and even a few radical feminists, I do not feel whole. Even after I've been regarded as one of the greatest soldiers of all time, I can't help but feel empty inside...

"Jesus! I'm starting to sound like Linda," I cried out desperately.

There's nothing worse than slowly converting into an emo goth kid. Wait... Maybe that isn't so bad after all? I digress, the source of my anguish must be as a result of my complete isolation these past few weeks. Since there were scouts looking for us now, it was hard to even get a breath of fresh air without being jumped. So the general advised us to take a step back and bunk in our homes for a bit.

"Well this sucks," I pouted, out loud.

For a brief moment, I started to wonder if I would ever find happiness again. To this, the Lord happened to respond.

"Do it brother DABO, seize control of a man's whim and enjoy yourself~" a booming deep voice echoed from above.

God was right, and it was good.

"Yes, my Lord," I complied - no reluctance to be discovered in my quivering voice box.

As I shifted my lanky, masculine, man-legs, it took mere seconds for me to find a 12 part Froppy Hentai series. My mouth was practically already drooling.

"My God, sorry Stuffy," Stuffy, of course, being what I named my one and only friend in this house: my couch.

Three minutes in and I started to feel a bit strange. It wasn't good. I was more than just down bad. I gave my lower half a death-stare as I quickly realised, something was amiss.

NO! Something was VERY wrong here...