Open Door

Why don't you walk through?

The day was just like any other, warm, sunny, and windy. I live in a small town out of Greenville S.C. called Liberty. The town was beautiful and small. We have all types of animals from the cow to the horse, to chickens, and geese; they all live in our old family barn, I have lived at this barn my whole life so I've seen all the animals grow up and have kids of their own or some reach the end of the line for the butcher's block. No matter where they go though, the animals know they were loved in every way. But the animals weren't the only things living on this farm.

My parents met in South Florida, Miami. It was Spring Break and you know how wild it can get in Miami. My mom, Mary is the most beautiful woman I have ever met, long flowy raven hair, long legs, sky blue eyes, white porcelain skin, and while she wasn't thin after 3 kids, she still had a rocking body; as if the amazons rewarded her. My dad, Elijah was another looker, at the time he met mom; dad was the school's linebacker, best friends with the school Mascot and Quarterback: Dad had blond hair, brown eyes, olive skin, and the brightest smile. Dad was my hero and best friend, but I can also say that about mom too. They're both great and deserve the world, I can only hope for one day to get rich and buy them the biggest and best house money can buy; I want to be able to support my parents as they supported me. My sibling has supported me too but not like my parents. They gave us the world when they didn't have it, they're a blessing; anyone would be proud to have them as family. I guess you could say my siblings and I look alike but you would be wrong, I'm the last child So I look like I was adopted: not in a mean way but because my parents' genes incorporated so well with each other that they made a while new person, my eldest sister looks like my mom, and my older bother looks so much like dad. My sister had the long raven hair, long legs and blue eyes; my brother had blond hair, brown eyes and stocky: and me well, I have hazel honey eyes, with light brown hair, and I was the outcast because I'm taller than both my siblings. It's not like I wanted to be taller, my genetics decided that I was going to be the tallest out the three of us.

I looked around in the old red barn and exited the front doors. The farm has never looked as good as it did right now. The animals were out and about, making all the lively horn noises you can think about. That wasn't a joke, animals do use their natural calls for mating; and some times I leave too late for my poor virgin eyes. But that's life, you regenerate and you consume that's what it all boils down to. I reached the bottom steps of my porch, sat down and took off these god-awful boots; it's not that they hurt it's just they're full-on steel toed boots and they're heavy like a mother. I heard a car come up the drive way, it was my sister Penny and her husband Jared. They don't live with us anymore, I miss my sister so much and as the saying goes life goes on, she has her husband and now my nephew on the way. I just can't help and be happy for her, she's has everything I've ever wanted. It's not like my life is horrible in the farm but as being known as the black sheep of the family you don't want to associate yourself with a part of your life that you feel like you're not only a burden but also the family fuck up.

"Hey guys, what are you up to?" I walked up to Penny barefooted. "Hey Clem, what are you doing with no shoes?" Penny replied to me rubbing small circles on her belly. I lifted my hand and gently rubbed her belly too. "I just came back from the barn, cleaned it up and you know regular Clem stuff," I say to her with a giggle, Jared was getting a bag from out of the trunk. When Jared was done rummaging in the trunk, he came right next to his wife, "Hey Clem, what are you up to this beautiful day?"

"Oh, you know. Regular Clementine stuff. What about you guys? You know you completely ignored my first question," I remarked at them laughing. Walking away from my sibling and opening the front door for her and her husband, that's when a horn louder than a freight train blew in the front yard. My brother Ezekiel was coming up the driveway making sure I'm not closing the door before he gets there. I close the screen door but not the actual front wooden door. Once again going down the stairs to meet my brother right next to his car. He gave me a big hug and walked right in the door looking for daddy. I was going up the stairs again when another door opened and closed. I was puzzled because Zeke came up by himself and I'm 1000% sure that was his passenger side door. Turning to face my brother's car, I see the back of a tall man's body: long curly dirty blond hair, nice back muscles, tattoo sleeves on his arms; a gasp came out of my mouth that I had not realized the breath filled my lungs. It was Derek. Derek my brother's best friend. Derek that broke my heart, 2 years ago. I guess that's why I came back to the farm, it was my haven.

I ran from Derek and ran up to the barn loft. Derek was my best friend too. He left town and wanted to become something bigger, but I wanted to study; I didn't want to be too far from my family. Hiding in the loft on a chair and feeling everything under my feet: I should've put my shoes on, such a face palm moment. I could've stopped him from going but it wasn't in me, I couldn't hold him back from what he long to do. Two years ago, while home for the summer Derek was here unannounced with my brother, and I had the stupidest elementary school crush on him. I had to let him know, I hate not taking chances when they present themselves, so I took it. Derek wasn't mean about it; he was actually very sweet. He told me that his relationship with my brother was important to him and he couldn't ruin that; no matter what feeling he was feeling. Ezekiel and Derek were about to leave anyway, they were in a band; albeit a good band: they just had an opportunity of a life time and I wasn't going to stand in Derek's way. That night we both agreed that we cannot be close to another or be in contact. I respect his choice; I just hope he respects mine.

"Clementine?" a raspy deep voice asked. It was Derek, why did he have to follow me? In the loft there were ways of getting off without being seen, like all the way toward the back of the loft you have a window that you can sneak out of. "Clem?" Derek's voice was louder and clearer than before. Damn it I was thinking too long and hard, now I can't escape. "Clem, I'm sorry. Please talk to me." Derek was in the loft now and facing me, but my back was toward him. It started to get darker as the rain cloud rolled in. I got up from my chair and started down the stairs again. Passing in front of Derek, he grabbed my arm and begged, "Please Clem can you talk to me? Or can you listen, please?" Shaking my head, I let my arm go from his grasp and continued to walk to the doors of the barn. As I got to the doors, "It wasn't easy for me, you know. You don't know how long I dreamed you would say something to me like that. And for me to even have the balls to say it to you. Clementine it was hard for me too." Derek finished. "No Derek, you don't know what to have balls feel like. You weren't the one who was shot down that day. The first time I ever admitted it to anyone and it was you. I told you. And those are the standards I have lived by for the last two years: not worth it, and clearly no one's choice." I stopped at the doors of the barn as it started to pour. "The countless nights that I laid awake crying my eyes out, I even took down our picture from my wall," I continued, letting a single tear fall from my eyes.

"Not as hard as letting go the only girl that understood me, the only girl that would hear me, and the only girl I could run to. Don't you see Clem I have always loved you, I just been too scared to ruin a relationship like ours. I didn't want what we had to go away; I never recognized that it could've enhanced it, I didn't recognize that I pushed you away so far from me," I heard him walking down the steps and falling right behind me at the threshold. "Clem, please turn around and look at me." Derek pleaded. "I can't Derek, you know what you do to me, you always have. You've taken it for granted many times and I just can't. I'm not the strong girl you grew up with anymore," I stated. The rain had stopped, there was the light droppings from the trees; you can hear them fall in the little puddles under them. "Clem, I'm not asking you to marry me right now although that sounds a lot better to me now than when you brought it up. Clementine?" Derek gently grabbed my arm again and spun me around to face him. His face so close to mine that I can feel his warm sweet breath on my face and his lips were only centimeters apart. "Clem, you're the Black Widow to my Hulk. You calm every atom in my body, with your touch, with your voice, with your smell, even the sight of you calms me," the hand he had on my arm slowly went to cup my cheek and I marveled in it. I closed my eyes and leaned in more on his palm: he always knew what to say.

Before I could respond to him, Derek's full kissable lips pressed on mine. That's when it all let go. I kissed him back with as much ferocity as he put in. I couldn't hold it anymore; he was killing me. Before we could even separate an eruption of clapping had happened, I think even the animals joined in too. We pulled apart from our kiss as Derek placed his forehead against mine, we sighed at the same time. "Clem, I vow to you to never do that to you again. I can't bear it. I need you. I love you. I've known that I loved you for a long time and I couldn't just do that to your brother, but I couldn't stand not being with you, not being apart of your life. You both mean the world to me, but not if it's not with you. Clem, I just want to say..." before Derek could finish his last sentence, I kissed him quiet. "Please don't continue, that's all you had to say, I love you..."